I have a dear friend I met through a message board four years ago. Our friendship grew as we swapped cards, gifts, and phone calls. Last summer, her and her family "camped" on our living room floor on their cross-country trip home. I feel a connection with her that makes it clear to me that we were meant to be a part of each other's lives, and there is a definite reason for finding each other. I love her to bits.
She is currently experiencing some difficulties in her marriage and has reached out to a small group of us, seeking advice. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to help. I feel completely inadequate and totally out of line presuming I have anything remotely relevant to contribute because I haven't been there -- neither married, nor feeling so lost I don't know which end is up. (Granted, I'm as good as married (and considered common law in the province of BC), but I know that that little piece of paper can make a huge difference in how some people handle/see things.) I don't want to say the wrong thing, but I don't want to remain silent either. It breaks my heart to see her hurting and know that there's nothing I can do to *fix* it (you know you've made it into my heart when all I want to do is fix things for you).
I have told her that I'm there for her no matter what, regardless of the time of day or night. Other than that, I have no clue.
What did you do? Were you able to do anything (other than offer support)? I'm at a loss and don't know what to do about it.
You just listen - and believe me, she wouldn't be seeking your advice if she didn't think you were capable of giving it. You don't always have to share experiences to give good advice - sometimes you just know in your heart what is right.
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