How do you sleep at night?

I've never been an "easy" sleeper.  When I was a wee babe, my parents would have to drive me around the block to get me to sleep (as the passenger in a car, I can still fall asleep in a drive as short as 20 minutes).  If we were out visiting when I was a little older, Mom could never convince me to lie down until it was time to go home (she maintains it was because I was afraid I'd miss something).  I can't sleep if it's too noisy (ambient noise); I can't sleep if it's too quiet (I sleep with a fan on 365 days a year for the white noise).  I am a fitful sleeper who is out of bed at least once a night to pee; who tosses and turns repeatedly throughout the night; who wakes enough to recall how many times she was awake last night.  All of this coupled with my intense need for structure leaves me with trouble getting to sleep should my sleep routine by altered in the slightest.  I swear to Ceiling Cat I suffered insomnia for damn near three months last year (and I swear this is really the root of many of my sleep "fears" -- yes, fears: I can work myself up into such a tizzy over whether or not I'll be able to sleep that I psyche myself out).  I probably average six hours of sleep a night (not enough).  I have issues, yo.

The worst, though?

I can't sleep with my other half.  *sad panda*

When we first started dating, I chalked up my shitty sleep to being giddy and/or not being in my own bed and/or sleeping with another body in my bed for the first time in 28 years (yeah, I'd never had an opposite sex sleep over before Chebbar: what of it, punk?).  I always resolved it by telling myself I'd be in my own bed/alone the following night, so no big deal. 

I honestly don't remember having trouble getting to sleep with him in the bed when he moved in: I swear my issues didn't really materialize until I went through the stress-induced insomnia.  As well, because I was being so. damned. hard. on myself (*cough*as usual*cough*), I had glossed over my initial wakefulness when we were first having "sleep overs."  *snort*  Of course, this perceived "failure" only succeeded in exacerbating my issues and stress about sleeping.  Then, there was his snoring (which is window shattering, seriously).  However, after a diagnosis of sleep apnea and the introduction of a CPAP machine, no more buzz saw in my bed.

Long, boring story short, I can pretty much only sleep with Chebbar if I'm heavily medicated; otherwise, the only way I sleep is if it's alone.  If I start out in the bed (after a liberal dosing of drowsiness-inducing antihistamine coupled with Sleepy Time tea), I will get to the point that I can't keep my eyes open, but instead of slipping over into the Land of Nod, my eyes pop open and my brain won't shut off -- it's like every fiber of my being FIGHTS sleep.  Generally after an hour or two (y'know, around 1:30AM), I'll give up and go down to the mattress on the floor (oh yes, my friends: my sleep issues are so jacked up that we have a mattress on the floor of the bedroom, but it's a piece of crap and extremely uncomfortable, so of course I feel nothing but guilt every time he goes down to the floor, but if I do, my back hurts... *eye roll*).

I cannot begin to describe how much this cuts me to the quick.  Yet again (of course), I feel like a failure wrapped up in imposter's clothing: happy couples are supposed to share a bed.  I feel like I'm running some kind of a sham, like I need to run around telling people "Yeah, our relationship is AWESOME! but because I'm a defective weirdo, we can't sleep together."  It likely doesn't help that I grew up in a household where my parents only slept separately if someone was pissed off -- getting up to see Mom OR Dad slept on the couch the night before was always signified discord, so in my head, the fact that Chebbar and I can't share a bed (well, with both of us getting sleep) just SCREAMS trouble.

He is perfectly okay with it.  Well, not in the sense that he doesn't give a shit: if he had his way, we'd sleep in the same bed all night every night.  However, he is very pragmatic about the whole thing: we both need sleep to function, especially taking the daily commute into account.  He tells me that it's not my fault, that it's not a big deal, that it will "fix itself eventually."  He's even placated me by telling me that when we move, we'll buy two beds and put them in the same room à la Lucy and Desi (little does he know that I'm TOTALLY plotting the matching comforters... ).

That being said, there is article upon article discussing couple who sleep separately (or who should consider it), often dramatically stating that "it could save YOUR relationship."  As well, I did have a (very wise) friend point out that it's not like we're missing out on good, quality time together if we're in separate beds/rooms: we're SLEEEEEPING.  I mean, sure, I've been known to talk in my sleep, but I doubt anything I say is THAT earth-shatteringly important (not that Mr. Wouldsleepthroughanatombomb would hear me anyhow... *wink*).  Now I just have to figure out a way to reconcile the fact that better sleep, good health, and likely a more harmonious relationship does not equate to hating each other because we can't share a bed.

So tell me, internetz, how do you sleep?