Does familiarity REALLY breed contempt?

Chebbar is a gamer.  He has been a gamer since he was introduced to his first NES.  Nowadays, World of Warcraft is more his speed (yes, I'm a WoW Widow: shut it).  That being said, ANY video game is good enough to try at least once.  I knew this going in: he didn't hide the fact that enjoyed gaming.  And while his multiple and desperate attempts to get me to play WoW with him have failed thus far, I am totally and completely obsessed with a little video game of my own *cough*Animal Crossing*cough*.

Last night, he started talking about this laundry list of PC games he wants to start (continue) playing.  However, it quickly shifted into talk of how much time he spends on the computer and how that needs to change.  For the record, we have discussed the amount of time he spends in the office twice in the past two and a half years; up  until now, it has been me who has broached the subject when I start to feel a little neglected.  And each time it has been addressed, he has been EXCELLENT about taking a step back, rearranging his playing schedule, and spending more time with me.  Needless to say, it took me by complete surprise to have him say "Yeah, I've been spending too much time in the office and that has to change," especially when I was oblivious that it was a problem.

Although completely puzzled, it got me thinking and I came to the realization that I hardly even notice anymore that he comes out of the office long enough to cook, eat, and clean up before he's back on the computer for the duration of the night.  (In the interest of full disclosure, he's currently not working (laid off) and hasn't started school yet (January, hopefully), so he's on the computer - or able to be - all day long.)  It was like someone punched me in the gut when I realized that it's become habit for us to spend our evenings (and the majority of our weekends) in separate rooms doing our own thing, and that not only had we not noticed, but we were completely okay with it.

To be fair, we still holler back and forth to each other and pop in to say hello during washroom breaks and "blow" each other kisses from room to room, so it's not like we're completely ignoring each other.  BUT.  In total?  We probably spend a whopping ten hours together all week - out of FORTY-EIGHT.  And those are 48 hours free and clear from work and other obligations.

That's pathetic.

It's not that we don't *like* spending time with each other or anything; it's just become habit to split off after dinner and do our own things.  Now, I know that it's "healthy" and a "good" thing to have separate interests, that we shouldn't necessarily be doing EVVVVVERYTHING together, but when our one hour per week night is spent eating dinner with the damned TV on, it can't exactly be considered quality time.

Anyhow.

I was still confused as to where this was all coming from.  With some poking and prodding, Chebbar finally spit out that, while this may not be problematic now, he was worried that once he's going to school and the majority of his time will be filled with studying and homework it could develop into an issue.  Of course, because I like to be a little asshole who can't see past the end of her own nose during conversations like this, I got my knickers in a twist and accused him of assuming that I don't know what the pressures of school are like and that I'll act like a spoiled brat and stomp my foot if he won't spend time with me.

Yeah.  Guess what?  TOTALLY not what he was getting at.  *hangs head in shame*

His point was simply that we should be trying to make changes in how we spend our free time - together AND separately - now while we still can so we're a little more acclimated to making that effort once he's going to school.  I repeated that I would NOT think twice about sucking it up and dealing with less time with him while he's going to school.  However, I also pointed out that if, for example, he's doing school work four nights a week and wants to play WoW the other three nights a week, I'm not the only one who should be expected to compromise - that it won't kill HIM to compromise and give up one of those nights to spend time with me.

So far we've agreed that we'll play board games on Tuesday nights and do movie nights on Fridays.  I had already been thinking about clearing off my table in the office so I could get back into card making, so that at least puts us in the same room.  As well, all my home internetting is done on my laptop: there's no reason I can't take it into the office and sit with him.

Generally Chebbar is the strong, silent type and I'm the one who over-thinks things and borrows trouble and worries about things that haven't happened yet.  To have him be the one to broach a potentially problematic situation certainly made me sit up and pay attention.  And needless to say (again), he gets mad props for his forward-thinking and desire to prevent a problem from developing in our relationship (so much love for him).  It will be a balancing act, but we'll do it.

So, fair readers, what do you think?  Do you think his foresight was on the money?  Do you think we're borrowing trouble by worrying about something that hasn't - and may not - happened yet?  Do you think letting the status quo remain is a bad idea?