I'm annoyed today. More to the point, I've been annoyed for at least a week. Seems the old Whore Moans decided to arrive quite a bit earlier than FLOrence Henderson. At least, I'm assuming that's what is causing this bug up my ass. I'm touchy. I'm over-sensitive. I'm taking shit personally/seriously that really shouldn't merit that much time or attention. Poor Chebbar catches the brunt of it, even when/if it's not directed at him (likely because I feel safe in doing so: I know he's still gonna love me after I've completed my raging bitch moment). Add to that the fact that I didn't sleep well last night (still awake at 2:15 am, then again at 4:30, 5:30, and finally up at 6:15), and I'm just a lovely little time bomb waiting to explode. The poor bugger is probably GLAD he's working nights this week... *cackles*
I wanted to write today. There is a friend issue that has been burbling just under the surface since last weekend (I believe this was the first sign of my hormonal insanity), but I should wait until I'm a little more sane and rational to mull it over properly. I thought I might write the next edition of The Story, but I honestly don't have the focus OR energy. I'm all over the place. My mind is going a million miles a minute, but isn't focusing on any one thing for more than 3.7 seconds. I would like to sleep; to veg out in front of the TV; to work out; to binge on junk food (even while I'm feeling horribly, horribly bloated); to maybe have a good cry. I even called my mommy to whine, but she wasn't home. So, I figured I'd bring it to the internet and let you poor people deal with me. *evil grin*
I'm all worked up over our stupid deck AGAIN (more about that when I can think straight). I made brownies. Twice. Both times? FAIL. I think Ghirardelli's "new & improved" formula lost something in translation because both times they turned out damn near soupy in the center (tried the first batch in the Pyrex, then switched to a metal non-stick pan). There is an ankle-biting wiener dog running around here right now and he's pissing me off. You know, I'm not afraid of large dogs (unless they're barking and gnashing their teeth in my general direction while the spittle flies and their eyes roll back into their heads), but little, yappy, psychotic ankle-biters make me nervous. I want to move. I want to sell the apartment and buy a house. I know we *reaaaaaaally* need to wait until we get our debt taken care of and that we wouldn't get as much as possible in this market and that we likely will need to put a little work into the place before putting it on the market, but SO many people around me are looking or buying or moving, and I've been bitten by the real estate bug. That being said, the idea of selling scares the living daylights out of me because I have no idea what all is involved. And seriously? The memory of the packing and the moving and the unpacking? Well, that right there is almost enough to make me stay put for the rest of my natural life. Oh, and all of a sudden? Fresh pineapple seems to making my tongue numb (I think it's an allergic reaction to an enzyme or something?). Again, B.L.A.R.G.H.
But you know what? All I've been able to think about today -- well, it keeps popping back into my head, as if to remind me that life is pretty damned good, missy -- is this one little thing Chebbar does for me: before turning the TV off at night, he switches it to the weather channel for me because he knows it's what I watch when I get up in the morning. I don't even do that for me! <3 And even though it's not really helping in the moment, knowing all this mood-swingy BS is hormonal and temporary makes me feel a teeny, tiny bit better. And there are chocolate chip cookies upstairs.
See? Told you I'm all over the damned place. ;)
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
And so
Long time no update! *hangs head in shame*
Not a lot to report. Last week, while starting off strong, ended with a whimper. When I got home from work on the Friday, I was feeling pukey, so no work out for me. Add to that the fact that we've really slacked off in the being-active-on-the-weekends thing, and you get four days with no work out. Laaaaame.
However, I started strong(er) on Monday, going so far as to actually schedule my Tae-Bo sessions on my Google calendar. As in I have thrice-weekly appointments with Billy Blanks. This is both exciting and terrifying. lol I'm hoping the thought that these are actual commitments will help to motivate me further. Plus, if I've specifically booked time for work outs, I don't exactly have the "but I was too busy!" excuse, now do I?
I didn't exercise after work on Tuesday because we had a job closing. This was a particularly large job, so it was particularly busy, resulting in me running up and down 15 stairs approximately every 2-3 minutes for two hours straight. Let's see: 2 hours / 3 minutes x 30 stairs (up and down) = 1,200 stairs. And, because time was of the essence, the majority of those stairs were ran, not walked. By the end of the two hours, I was beginning to experience some shortness of breath and a little (minor) aching in my chest. O hai! I'm out of shape! (Although not as bad as I would have thought, otherwise the achy lack of breath would have occurred much sooner.) That being said, I figured I earned a sitting on the arse when I got home.
Yesterday I made the choice not to work out because the house was in desperate need of straightening. However, I upheld my "deal" with myself, and tidied for a good 45 minutes (which is a little longer than I would have exercised anyhow). I, uh, also made brownies. IN MY DEFENCE (lol), I had been craving brownies for three days; at this point, I had more than passed the wait-20-minutes-and-see-if-you-still-want-it mark. And I'm PMSing. So there. (Sadly enough, they didn't turn out very well: Ghirardelli changed their boxed mix and the brownies end up rock hard around the edges (far beyond yummy brownie "crust" hard) and are still gooey in the center, even after 55 minutes. The rest of the pan will probably end up in the garbage because I just can't put the thought of raw egg (even though logically I *know* it's cooked after damn near an hour) out of my mind.)
I have an "appointment" with Mr. Blanks tonight. I do want to get Chebbar off the couch on the weekends again, but tomorrow is packed SOLID, and he's golfing Sunday (which means exercise for him, but he'll be too pooped when he gets home to, say, go for a walk -- that doesn't mean I can't, though!).
Not a lot to report. Last week, while starting off strong, ended with a whimper. When I got home from work on the Friday, I was feeling pukey, so no work out for me. Add to that the fact that we've really slacked off in the being-active-on-the-weekends thing, and you get four days with no work out. Laaaaame.
However, I started strong(er) on Monday, going so far as to actually schedule my Tae-Bo sessions on my Google calendar. As in I have thrice-weekly appointments with Billy Blanks. This is both exciting and terrifying. lol I'm hoping the thought that these are actual commitments will help to motivate me further. Plus, if I've specifically booked time for work outs, I don't exactly have the "but I was too busy!" excuse, now do I?
I didn't exercise after work on Tuesday because we had a job closing. This was a particularly large job, so it was particularly busy, resulting in me running up and down 15 stairs approximately every 2-3 minutes for two hours straight. Let's see: 2 hours / 3 minutes x 30 stairs (up and down) = 1,200 stairs. And, because time was of the essence, the majority of those stairs were ran, not walked. By the end of the two hours, I was beginning to experience some shortness of breath and a little (minor) aching in my chest. O hai! I'm out of shape! (Although not as bad as I would have thought, otherwise the achy lack of breath would have occurred much sooner.) That being said, I figured I earned a sitting on the arse when I got home.
Yesterday I made the choice not to work out because the house was in desperate need of straightening. However, I upheld my "deal" with myself, and tidied for a good 45 minutes (which is a little longer than I would have exercised anyhow). I, uh, also made brownies. IN MY DEFENCE (lol), I had been craving brownies for three days; at this point, I had more than passed the wait-20-minutes-and-see-if-you-still-want-it mark. And I'm PMSing. So there. (Sadly enough, they didn't turn out very well: Ghirardelli changed their boxed mix and the brownies end up rock hard around the edges (far beyond yummy brownie "crust" hard) and are still gooey in the center, even after 55 minutes. The rest of the pan will probably end up in the garbage because I just can't put the thought of raw egg (even though logically I *know* it's cooked after damn near an hour) out of my mind.)
I have an "appointment" with Mr. Blanks tonight. I do want to get Chebbar off the couch on the weekends again, but tomorrow is packed SOLID, and he's golfing Sunday (which means exercise for him, but he'll be too pooped when he gets home to, say, go for a walk -- that doesn't mean I can't, though!).
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
*sigh* Not again!
I dreamed about The Ex again last night. This time there is a reasonable explanation, but it's no less annoying. I logged into facebook on Saturday to be greeted by a picture of him with an old coworker (she is on my friends list: he is not (not even sure he's on facebook -- if he is, his profile is private and/or he has me blocked, because I can't find him)). *groan* However, because the updates move relatively fast, it disappeared quickly.
However.
Now facebook thinks it's an excellent idea to post "highlights" in the right sidebar! NOT. At least, not when his grinning mug keeps. showing. up.
By Sunday night, the picture had disappeared from the sidebar. Yay!
Yay, you say? Nay, oh nay.
Monday morning, I logged into iGoogle (which? l.o.v.e.) only to find HIS FACE GRINNING UP AT ME. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! You see, I have a facebook gadget on iGoogle to give me updates instead of logging into the site. That being said, it's a little... "glitchy": it will give you three current-ish status updates on a semi-regular basis, but if someone posts a picture (or is TAGGED in one), it shows up for.ev.er.
Last night, I dreamed he was at my place. OUR place. So was my mom (Chebbar was, too -- they were both fine with the visitor and neither seemed particularly upset/annoyed/weirded out by it): she's been featuring prominently in my dreams lately, just in the background (in a "Mom was there, too" kind of way), but there nonetheless. The Ex and I were in the bathroom (door open *wink*) discussing lord knows what. He was visibly upset, likely about a (real) family tragedy. I remember hugging him and telling him that I would always love him (just not in THAT way). That's all I remember.
When I got to work today, I deleted that damned facebook gadget from iGoogle. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Geesh.
However.
Now facebook thinks it's an excellent idea to post "highlights" in the right sidebar! NOT. At least, not when his grinning mug keeps. showing. up.
By Sunday night, the picture had disappeared from the sidebar. Yay!
Yay, you say? Nay, oh nay.
Monday morning, I logged into iGoogle (which? l.o.v.e.) only to find HIS FACE GRINNING UP AT ME. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! You see, I have a facebook gadget on iGoogle to give me updates instead of logging into the site. That being said, it's a little... "glitchy": it will give you three current-ish status updates on a semi-regular basis, but if someone posts a picture (or is TAGGED in one), it shows up for.ev.er.
Last night, I dreamed he was at my place. OUR place. So was my mom (Chebbar was, too -- they were both fine with the visitor and neither seemed particularly upset/annoyed/weirded out by it): she's been featuring prominently in my dreams lately, just in the background (in a "Mom was there, too" kind of way), but there nonetheless. The Ex and I were in the bathroom (door open *wink*) discussing lord knows what. He was visibly upset, likely about a (real) family tragedy. I remember hugging him and telling him that I would always love him (just not in THAT way). That's all I remember.
When I got to work today, I deleted that damned facebook gadget from iGoogle. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Geesh.
Monday, June 22, 2009
When you CAN'T have your cake and eat it, too
I was going to start today by gifting you all with the traditional Monday Meme, but according to Aunt Becky (and I quote),
Well, I do like doing 'em, but I'll keep 'em on facebook. ;) (P.S. Aunt Becky's blog post? Brilliant. Go. Read it.) Instead, I'll bore you with a tale of cake.
My parents were visiting Friday night when Chebbar got a call from his uncle. Seems Chebbar's dad was looking after Little G and Baby Bam-Bam while Chebbar's sister was out of town. Uncle was calling to invite us over fora to-make-up-for-babysitting-all-weekend dinner for Father's Day dinner. Cool. Sounds good.
Saturday morning, we had the following exchange.
Him: Oh. We have to bake something.
Me, eyebrow raised: "We?" What's this "we" business? *laughing*
Him: Well, I told Uncle we'd bake something for dessert.
Me, still laughing: "We" will, will "we?"
Him, looking chagrined: Yeah... I told him we'd bring a cake or something...
Me, still laughing (lucky for him): What kind of cake am I baking?
Saturday night I baked a two-layer cake and Sunday I iced it. This was my first attempt at the two-layer cake: I've done coffee cakes, bundt cakes, pound cakes, angel food cakes, and cupcakes, but no two-layer cakes. I knew enough to know I had to wait until it was completely cooled before icing it; however, imagine my surprise when the top layer started sliding around as I tried to ice the outer edge! Ha! Needless to say, it was less than pretty (but passable all the same).
When we got into town, Chebbar tried to call Uncle to see if we could pick anything up. Imagine Chebbar's nervous laughter when, upon explaining that we were picking up ice cream to go with the cake, Uncle exclaimed surprise and told him that HE had already purchased a cake!
Yeah. That sound you heard? My head exploding a tiny bit.
The cake was one of those grocery store confectionery masterpieces with the eleventeen-inch sugar coma-inducing icing. Chebbar's grandmother chastised Chebbar and Uncle for not communicating more clearly, declaring that she would be eating my cake; I also wanted to try a piece of my cake. However, when Chebbar's dad began cutting and plating cake, there were no inquiries made into preference, and everyone was served the bakery cake.
It was gross. The icing was too sweet x 1,000 and the cake itself was really dry and crumby. I was quite disappointed that I'd wasted a cake eating on that icing-covered cardboard, while my Franenkcake sat unscathed. Boo.
Meme’s, although a nice tool to get the writing juices flowing, are usually pretty dull to the reader. If you like doing ‘em, then fuck it and do ‘em anyway.
Well, I do like doing 'em, but I'll keep 'em on facebook. ;) (P.S. Aunt Becky's blog post? Brilliant. Go. Read it.) Instead, I'll bore you with a tale of cake.
My parents were visiting Friday night when Chebbar got a call from his uncle. Seems Chebbar's dad was looking after Little G and Baby Bam-Bam while Chebbar's sister was out of town. Uncle was calling to invite us over for
Saturday morning, we had the following exchange.
Him: Oh. We have to bake something.
Me, eyebrow raised: "We?" What's this "we" business? *laughing*
Him: Well, I told Uncle we'd bake something for dessert.
Me, still laughing: "We" will, will "we?"
Him, looking chagrined: Yeah... I told him we'd bring a cake or something...
Me, still laughing (lucky for him): What kind of cake am I baking?
Saturday night I baked a two-layer cake and Sunday I iced it. This was my first attempt at the two-layer cake: I've done coffee cakes, bundt cakes, pound cakes, angel food cakes, and cupcakes, but no two-layer cakes. I knew enough to know I had to wait until it was completely cooled before icing it; however, imagine my surprise when the top layer started sliding around as I tried to ice the outer edge! Ha! Needless to say, it was less than pretty (but passable all the same).
When we got into town, Chebbar tried to call Uncle to see if we could pick anything up. Imagine Chebbar's nervous laughter when, upon explaining that we were picking up ice cream to go with the cake, Uncle exclaimed surprise and told him that HE had already purchased a cake!
Yeah. That sound you heard? My head exploding a tiny bit.
The cake was one of those grocery store confectionery masterpieces with the eleventeen-inch sugar coma-inducing icing. Chebbar's grandmother chastised Chebbar and Uncle for not communicating more clearly, declaring that she would be eating my cake; I also wanted to try a piece of my cake. However, when Chebbar's dad began cutting and plating cake, there were no inquiries made into preference, and everyone was served the bakery cake.
It was gross. The icing was too sweet x 1,000 and the cake itself was really dry and crumby. I was quite disappointed that I'd wasted a cake eating on that icing-covered cardboard, while my Franenkcake sat unscathed. Boo.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Dirty Little Secrets
1. Remove my so-called "taste" from my body and rip my ears from my head: I like Miley Cyrus's "The Climb." *hangs head in shame*
2. This one's not so much a dirty little secret, but I feel the need to "confess": I'm mightily annoyed with Sis right now. She sent me a text message on Monday asking if she could come for dinner tonight. I just called her to find out where I was picking her up, to have her hem and haw because she wants to have a nap and work out and shower and and and maybe she should just come over AFTER dinner? ARGH.
Do you have a dirty little secret that you're dying to get off your chest? Share. You know you wanna. Hell, you can even do it anonymously... }:-)
2. This one's not so much a dirty little secret, but I feel the need to "confess": I'm mightily annoyed with Sis right now. She sent me a text message on Monday asking if she could come for dinner tonight. I just called her to find out where I was picking her up, to have her hem and haw because she wants to have a nap and work out and shower and and and maybe she should just come over AFTER dinner? ARGH.
Do you have a dirty little secret that you're dying to get off your chest? Share. You know you wanna. Hell, you can even do it anonymously... }:-)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Fit-in 15
Fit-in 15 is a campaign by the Canadian Chiropractic Association that puts forth a simple challenge: find 15 minutes each day to be active. Sounds easy, doesn't it? According to the website, an easy 15 minutes of activity a day will give you better heart health, improved circulation, greater strength & flexibility, and more stamina. It offers a quiz to determine if Fit-in 15 is right for you; a variety of activities under the cardio, strength, and flexibility categories; a calendar in which to track your progress; and the offer of reminders and motivation via email.
It's only 15 minutes. What do you have to lose? Go register: I did. :)
You do potentially have something to gain if you visit Schmutzie's Reviews and check out her giveaway for an iPod Shuffle and $20 iTunes gift card.
It's only 15 minutes. What do you have to lose? Go register: I did. :)
You do potentially have something to gain if you visit Schmutzie's Reviews and check out her giveaway for an iPod Shuffle and $20 iTunes gift card.
When you don't know how to help
Have you ever been in a situation where a friend is hurting and you just don't know what to say? What to do? How to offer her any measure of comfort?
I have a dear friend I met through a message board four years ago. Our friendship grew as we swapped cards, gifts, and phone calls. Last summer, her and her family "camped" on our living room floor on their cross-country trip home. I feel a connection with her that makes it clear to me that we were meant to be a part of each other's lives, and there is a definite reason for finding each other. I love her to bits.
She is currently experiencing some difficulties in her marriage and has reached out to a small group of us, seeking advice. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to help. I feel completely inadequate and totally out of line presuming I have anything remotely relevant to contribute because I haven't been there -- neither married, nor feeling so lost I don't know which end is up. (Granted, I'm as good as married (and considered common law in the province of BC), but I know that that little piece of paper can make a huge difference in how some people handle/see things.) I don't want to say the wrong thing, but I don't want to remain silent either. It breaks my heart to see her hurting and know that there's nothing I can do to *fix* it (you know you've made it into my heart when all I want to do is fix things for you).
I have told her that I'm there for her no matter what, regardless of the time of day or night. Other than that, I have no clue.
What did you do? Were you able to do anything (other than offer support)? I'm at a loss and don't know what to do about it.
I have a dear friend I met through a message board four years ago. Our friendship grew as we swapped cards, gifts, and phone calls. Last summer, her and her family "camped" on our living room floor on their cross-country trip home. I feel a connection with her that makes it clear to me that we were meant to be a part of each other's lives, and there is a definite reason for finding each other. I love her to bits.
She is currently experiencing some difficulties in her marriage and has reached out to a small group of us, seeking advice. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to help. I feel completely inadequate and totally out of line presuming I have anything remotely relevant to contribute because I haven't been there -- neither married, nor feeling so lost I don't know which end is up. (Granted, I'm as good as married (and considered common law in the province of BC), but I know that that little piece of paper can make a huge difference in how some people handle/see things.) I don't want to say the wrong thing, but I don't want to remain silent either. It breaks my heart to see her hurting and know that there's nothing I can do to *fix* it (you know you've made it into my heart when all I want to do is fix things for you).
I have told her that I'm there for her no matter what, regardless of the time of day or night. Other than that, I have no clue.
What did you do? Were you able to do anything (other than offer support)? I'm at a loss and don't know what to do about it.
Monday, June 15, 2009
How soon we forget
I mentioned to Chebbar a couple of weeks ago that it's amazing how quickly and easily I forget how much better I feel when I'm working out regularly. Not just that "damn, I'm good!" feeling post-work out (which is great: I feel like I can take on the world after a good work out), but how much better I feel general. When I get into the habit of being active on a regular basis, I feel better, more confident, and stronger. I even carry myself differently -- taller, shoulders back, stomach in, longer strides, squeezing the butt with each step I take. I wish there was some way to bottle that feeling so that if I slip up and spend too much time inactive and forget that feeling, mired in the darkness of shitty self-esteem, I could take a drink and get off my ass. Instead, I hope I can remain on the active track so I don't have to worry about forgetting, because I know I'm doing so much for my overall health and well-being.
The other night in the shower I noticed something that has definitely made it easy for me to stay motivated: my thighs/butt are less jiggly! Woot! Now, that may sound strange, but this was the first sign that my efforts were paying off when I lost weight three years ago. As well, I noticed that the, erm, "texture" of the skin has improved. Now, I've only been making a half-hearted attempt at decent workouts for the past two weeks (I had pretty much been paying lip service via the Wii Fit on and off for the four weeks previous), so I know that's not what precipitated these changes.
No, it would be the fifteen stairs I go up and down repeatedly at work. At first I really didn't like the idea of being downstairs while everyone else is up, simply because I was still in lazy slug mode. However, after awhile, as the stairs got easier, I saw them for what they were: a tool in my exercise regime! (Okay, even I'm rolling my eyes at myself right now.)
That being said, it's little things like less jiggly thighs and feeling better in my skin that keep me motivated and excited to see just how much I can change my body -- that actually have me looking forward to having my ass kicked by Billy Blanks after work (and oh lord does that work out kick my ass --but again, while I struggle and damn-near hate every minute of it, I feel SO good when I'm done).
The other night in the shower I noticed something that has definitely made it easy for me to stay motivated: my thighs/butt are less jiggly! Woot! Now, that may sound strange, but this was the first sign that my efforts were paying off when I lost weight three years ago. As well, I noticed that the, erm, "texture" of the skin has improved. Now, I've only been making a half-hearted attempt at decent workouts for the past two weeks (I had pretty much been paying lip service via the Wii Fit on and off for the four weeks previous), so I know that's not what precipitated these changes.
No, it would be the fifteen stairs I go up and down repeatedly at work. At first I really didn't like the idea of being downstairs while everyone else is up, simply because I was still in lazy slug mode. However, after awhile, as the stairs got easier, I saw them for what they were: a tool in my exercise regime! (Okay, even I'm rolling my eyes at myself right now.)
That being said, it's little things like less jiggly thighs and feeling better in my skin that keep me motivated and excited to see just how much I can change my body -- that actually have me looking forward to having my ass kicked by Billy Blanks after work (and oh lord does that work out kick my ass --but again, while I struggle and damn-near hate every minute of it, I feel SO good when I'm done).
Meme Monday
1. What time did you get up this morning?
I got up at 6:20, but I was awake at whatever time Chebbar came in to kiss me before going to work (didn't get back to sleep).
2.Watches or Rings?
Both -- I feel naked without them.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinemas?
Star Trek
4. What is your favorite TV show?
Right now it's probably So You Think You Can Dance, but I have an inkling that Glee will overshadow everything come September (seriously, if you didn't catch the premier after American Idol, go. watch it. now.).
5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
Toaster Strudels... lol
6. What are your nicknames?
Uh, Chibi? }:-)
7. What food do you dislike?
Sliced tomatoes
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
Kings of Leon
9. What kind of car do you drive?
Mazda3 Sport
10. Favorite sandwich?
Turkey with cranberry sauce
11. What characteristic do you despise?
Lying/cheating/thinking you can get away with it
12. Favorite clothing trend?
I'm not cool enough to be trendy
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Scotland
14. Are you an organized person?
I am at work/with personal plans, but my organizational skills where cleaning is concerned leave something to be desired
15. Where would you retire to?
I've actually never given it any thought: I'm just going to be happy if I *get* to retire
16. What was one of your most memorable birthdays?
My 22nd -- not necessarily happy, but most memorable, nonetheless.
17. What are you going to do when you finish this?
Maybe post to the other blog
18. When is your birthday?
April 21
19. Morning person or a night person?
Morning person
20. What is your shoe size?
6.5/7
21. What did you want to be when you were little?
A teacher
22. How are you today?
A little tired, but mostly okay
23. What is your favorite flower?
The kind I don't have to buy for myself ;)
24. What are you listening to right now?
"Breathe Me" by Sia (*love*)
25. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
Saturday June 27 -- we're going to see Transformers 2!
26. Do you wish on stars?
When I have something worth wishing for
27. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
An eggplanty purple
28. How is the weather right now?
Overcast
29. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Leo the deck guy
30. Do you drink?
Liquid? Duh. Liquor? Not often.
31. Favorite restaurant?
Probably something pedestrian like Boston Pizza or White Spot. What can I say? I'm a simple girl with simple tastes, but that makes me easy to please. ;)
32. Hair color?
Dark blond/light brown
33. Favorite toy as a child?
Pound Puppy
34. Summer or Winter?
Spring (or fall)
35. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Strawberry
36. Coffee or tea?
Tea!
37. Coke or Pepsi?
Coke
38. When was the last time you cried?
Last time FLOrence Henderson came to visit
39. What is under your bed?
Dust bunnies
40. What did you do last night?
Made dinner & lunches, painted my toes, had a shower, and dicked around on the internet until bedtime
41. What are you afraid of?
Ending up alone. Oh, and spiders.
42. Salty or sweet?
Just WHAT are you referring to? *raises eyebrow*
43. How many keys on your key ring?
Too many and TOO BULKY!
44. How many years at your current job?
lol -- 6 weeks
45. Favorite day of the week?
Lazy Sundays
46. Favorite month of the year?
December
47. Do you make friends easily?
In person, not so much; online, yes.
I got up at 6:20, but I was awake at whatever time Chebbar came in to kiss me before going to work (didn't get back to sleep).
2.Watches or Rings?
Both -- I feel naked without them.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinemas?
Star Trek
4. What is your favorite TV show?
Right now it's probably So You Think You Can Dance, but I have an inkling that Glee will overshadow everything come September (seriously, if you didn't catch the premier after American Idol, go. watch it. now.).
5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
Toaster Strudels... lol
6. What are your nicknames?
Uh, Chibi? }:-)
7. What food do you dislike?
Sliced tomatoes
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
Kings of Leon
9. What kind of car do you drive?
Mazda3 Sport
10. Favorite sandwich?
Turkey with cranberry sauce
11. What characteristic do you despise?
Lying/cheating/thinking you can get away with it
12. Favorite clothing trend?
I'm not cool enough to be trendy
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Scotland
14. Are you an organized person?
I am at work/with personal plans, but my organizational skills where cleaning is concerned leave something to be desired
15. Where would you retire to?
I've actually never given it any thought: I'm just going to be happy if I *get* to retire
16. What was one of your most memorable birthdays?
My 22nd -- not necessarily happy, but most memorable, nonetheless.
17. What are you going to do when you finish this?
Maybe post to the other blog
18. When is your birthday?
April 21
19. Morning person or a night person?
Morning person
20. What is your shoe size?
6.5/7
21. What did you want to be when you were little?
A teacher
22. How are you today?
A little tired, but mostly okay
23. What is your favorite flower?
The kind I don't have to buy for myself ;)
24. What are you listening to right now?
"Breathe Me" by Sia (*love*)
25. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
Saturday June 27 -- we're going to see Transformers 2!
26. Do you wish on stars?
When I have something worth wishing for
27. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
An eggplanty purple
28. How is the weather right now?
Overcast
29. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Leo the deck guy
30. Do you drink?
Liquid? Duh. Liquor? Not often.
31. Favorite restaurant?
Probably something pedestrian like Boston Pizza or White Spot. What can I say? I'm a simple girl with simple tastes, but that makes me easy to please. ;)
32. Hair color?
Dark blond/light brown
33. Favorite toy as a child?
Pound Puppy
34. Summer or Winter?
Spring (or fall)
35. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Strawberry
36. Coffee or tea?
Tea!
37. Coke or Pepsi?
Coke
38. When was the last time you cried?
Last time FLOrence Henderson came to visit
39. What is under your bed?
Dust bunnies
40. What did you do last night?
Made dinner & lunches, painted my toes, had a shower, and dicked around on the internet until bedtime
41. What are you afraid of?
Ending up alone. Oh, and spiders.
42. Salty or sweet?
Just WHAT are you referring to? *raises eyebrow*
43. How many keys on your key ring?
Too many and TOO BULKY!
44. How many years at your current job?
lol -- 6 weeks
45. Favorite day of the week?
Lazy Sundays
46. Favorite month of the year?
December
47. Do you make friends easily?
In person, not so much; online, yes.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Quirks
I have many, of that I'm sure. However, this one is at the forefront of my mind because (almost a week later) I'm still shuddering at the experience.
I love to be barefoot. LOVE. First thing to come off when I get home from work (after shoes, obvs)? My socks. Even in the winter, I'll doff the socks only to put on my slippers because my feet are cold. Ah, but they're still bare *inside* the slippers. ;) I can hardly wait for warm(er) weather to arrive, for the sun to peek from behind the clouds, for the sandals to be unearthed from the bottom of the closet.
All the same, being a barefoot lover in the summer raises a whole 'nother issue: other people's houses. From the number of threads that have popped up over the years at a message board I frequent, apparently removing one's shoes upon entering someone's home is a regional thing. Around here, it's pretty standard -- it would be considered rude not to remove your shoes unless otherwise directed. Because I've grown up with this social norm, it has also become second nature to... "plan" (for lack of a better word) my footwear when going to someone's home in barefoot weather.
You see, while I love being barefoot, I de.spise. having anything underfoot. Even in my own home, where I know that crunchy bit I just stepped on in the kitchen was a crumb from last night's garlic bread, feeling anything other than floor under my bare feet is enough to induce serious shivers. (I'm damn-near shuddering at the thought as I type.) That being said, the only other place I'm comfortable going sockmando is my parents', simply because I know how clean my mom keeps the house. I can be barefoot all day, but if we're going somewhere, I'll put socks and shoes on, even if it's 35C outside.
Last weekend, I decided to befoolhardy brave. We were going to Chebbar's grandmother's for dinner. As I slipped on my cute little open-top runners sans socks, Chebbar cautioned that I'd have to take my shoes off when we got there. "Pfffffffft," I replied cockily. "Every time we go there, I take my shoes off only to have her tell me not to bother, and I end up the only one in my socks. I'll take my chances." When we got there, Chebbar began removing his shoes while Nana told him not to bother (yes, I managed not to crow "TOLD YA SO!"; however, I may not have been as successful in hiding my smug smirk).
Boy, did THAT come back to bite me in the ass.
We ended up stopping at a friend of Chebbar's on the way home. He (and his two roommates) had just moved into this house a few weeks ago, so he wanted to give us the grand tour. Let me just set this up for ya a little bit. We were greeted in the foyer by a litter box with as much kitty litter strewn about the floor as in the box, and carpeted stairs that looked like they hadn't had close, personal contact with the vacuum in months. He started up the stairs as I held my breath in order to prevent the smell of litter box from permeating my nostrils; then he turned, looking at my (shoed) feet, and made a strange noise in his throat. "Do you want us to take our shoes off?" I asked fearfully. "Yeah," he answered, laughing nervously. Chebbar busted out laughing, asking him if he was serious. At this point, Buddy got quite serious as he replied with a yes.
Guess who got a grand tour of a house inhabited by three less-than-Martha-Stewart guys and I don't know how many litter-strewing cats in her BARE FEET?!?
I tried *desperately* not to think about what I was feeling as we walked up the stairs, through the living room, into the kitchen, back down the stairs, across the (still litter-strewn!) foyer, and through the basement. I think I started reciting the alphabet when I had to brush my feet off not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES before they were cleared of debris enough to put my shoes back on. My (bare) toes are curling (in my sandals) just recounting that. *dies*
So, yeah. Don't know that I'll be making the rookie mistake of assuming we're only making one stop ever again.
Would it be rude to pack socks in my purse and whip 'em out after I've removed my shoes, but before I walk anywhere in someone's house? Hmm...
I love to be barefoot. LOVE. First thing to come off when I get home from work (after shoes, obvs)? My socks. Even in the winter, I'll doff the socks only to put on my slippers because my feet are cold. Ah, but they're still bare *inside* the slippers. ;) I can hardly wait for warm(er) weather to arrive, for the sun to peek from behind the clouds, for the sandals to be unearthed from the bottom of the closet.
All the same, being a barefoot lover in the summer raises a whole 'nother issue: other people's houses. From the number of threads that have popped up over the years at a message board I frequent, apparently removing one's shoes upon entering someone's home is a regional thing. Around here, it's pretty standard -- it would be considered rude not to remove your shoes unless otherwise directed. Because I've grown up with this social norm, it has also become second nature to... "plan" (for lack of a better word) my footwear when going to someone's home in barefoot weather.
You see, while I love being barefoot, I de.spise. having anything underfoot. Even in my own home, where I know that crunchy bit I just stepped on in the kitchen was a crumb from last night's garlic bread, feeling anything other than floor under my bare feet is enough to induce serious shivers. (I'm damn-near shuddering at the thought as I type.) That being said, the only other place I'm comfortable going sockmando is my parents', simply because I know how clean my mom keeps the house. I can be barefoot all day, but if we're going somewhere, I'll put socks and shoes on, even if it's 35C outside.
Last weekend, I decided to be
Boy, did THAT come back to bite me in the ass.
We ended up stopping at a friend of Chebbar's on the way home. He (and his two roommates) had just moved into this house a few weeks ago, so he wanted to give us the grand tour. Let me just set this up for ya a little bit. We were greeted in the foyer by a litter box with as much kitty litter strewn about the floor as in the box, and carpeted stairs that looked like they hadn't had close, personal contact with the vacuum in months. He started up the stairs as I held my breath in order to prevent the smell of litter box from permeating my nostrils; then he turned, looking at my (shoed) feet, and made a strange noise in his throat. "Do you want us to take our shoes off?" I asked fearfully. "Yeah," he answered, laughing nervously. Chebbar busted out laughing, asking him if he was serious. At this point, Buddy got quite serious as he replied with a yes.
Guess who got a grand tour of a house inhabited by three less-than-Martha-Stewart guys and I don't know how many litter-strewing cats in her BARE FEET?!?
I tried *desperately* not to think about what I was feeling as we walked up the stairs, through the living room, into the kitchen, back down the stairs, across the (still litter-strewn!) foyer, and through the basement. I think I started reciting the alphabet when I had to brush my feet off not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES before they were cleared of debris enough to put my shoes back on. My (bare) toes are curling (in my sandals) just recounting that. *dies*
So, yeah. Don't know that I'll be making the rookie mistake of assuming we're only making one stop ever again.
Would it be rude to pack socks in my purse and whip 'em out after I've removed my shoes, but before I walk anywhere in someone's house? Hmm...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Wii need to rethink our relationship
It's time Wii Fit and I took a break. First and foremost, the way I use the Wii Fit doesn't provide an adequate "work out." Sure, I can break a sweat heading soccer balls and twirling hula hoops, but let's be honest -- that sweat is probably due more to the temperature in the house than how much energy I'm expending. And quite frankly, I doubt the accuracy of a program that will knock 11 years off my Wii Fit age simply because I scored 98% stability on the one-legged test: it tells you you're allowed to hang on to someone/thing for balance if need be! Granted, I'm only using one finger against the mantle to steady myself, but still -- this merits an 11 year improvement, even though the Wii is screaming "that's obese!" at me? Gimme a break.
The other issue I have with the Wii Fit is the seemingly unreliable scale. When I fired it up again two weeks ago, it gave me a weight two pounds lighter than my bathroom scale. The plot points on the graph in the intervening 14 days have seen the line vary like a mountain range, one day having me down 2.5 pounds and being up 4 pounds the next. I swear to Ceiling Cat I don't eat that much in a day. Last night was the last straw: after being accusingly informed of a 2.6 pound weight gain since Sunday and then having it demand a reason for this increase, I stepped on the bathroom scale.
I was down three pounds from two weeks ago, which seems to be correct according to how my body feels. That's a lot different than being five-ish pounds heavier than when I started, according to the Wii.
So I think we're done. I can track how long/many days I'm active myself. I'd rather track my progress based on measurements and monthly weigh-ins (they've worked best for me in the past -- I find myself dreading stepping on the Wii only to hear "that's obese!" regardless of whether I've gained or lost; if there were a way to hide the results, I'd be all over that). When your "work out" is making you feel bad about yourself before you even start, it's time to find something else.
The other issue I have with the Wii Fit is the seemingly unreliable scale. When I fired it up again two weeks ago, it gave me a weight two pounds lighter than my bathroom scale. The plot points on the graph in the intervening 14 days have seen the line vary like a mountain range, one day having me down 2.5 pounds and being up 4 pounds the next. I swear to Ceiling Cat I don't eat that much in a day. Last night was the last straw: after being accusingly informed of a 2.6 pound weight gain since Sunday and then having it demand a reason for this increase, I stepped on the bathroom scale.
I was down three pounds from two weeks ago, which seems to be correct according to how my body feels. That's a lot different than being five-ish pounds heavier than when I started, according to the Wii.
So I think we're done. I can track how long/many days I'm active myself. I'd rather track my progress based on measurements and monthly weigh-ins (they've worked best for me in the past -- I find myself dreading stepping on the Wii only to hear "that's obese!" regardless of whether I've gained or lost; if there were a way to hide the results, I'd be all over that). When your "work out" is making you feel bad about yourself before you even start, it's time to find something else.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Admitting the hard truth
A while back Chebbar and I had a fight. I don't even remember what sparked it now, it was so inconsequential. (In fact, if I look back, I'd bet my car that I was PMSing and it was hormone-fueled BS -- that seems to be about the only time we don't get along like usual.)
During the talking it out and patching it up portion of the conversation, Chebbar admitted that he hates it when I bash/insult myself, which apparently happens with a lot more regularity than I would have imagined. He said that it really bothers him to hear me speak so negatively and awfully about myself, with my constant FAIL! commentary.
It was a huge wake-up call. I know I'm hard on myself; hell, I know I can be downright ruthless where my perceived shortcomings are concerned. I know I don't cut myself enough slack and that I expect a lot (often too much) of myself. I know I'm my own worst critic. And I know that all the negative self-talk is "bad" for me.
However, I never would have guessed that it might have an impact on my relationship. In fact, I had absolutely no clue that it bothered him to the degree it does -- this was the first time in two years that he had flat-out told me to stop.
Even though I told him that this wasn't going to be an easy journey considering I've bad mouthed myself for as long as I can remember, I've made a concerted effort to at least keep the nasty comments to myself, if not turn them off completely. Over the past month and a half I have noticed that it's easy not to think poorly of myself when I'm not speaking them into existence (that pearl of wisdom borrowed from SYTYCD). As well, I have come to recognize that I am cruelest to myself when hormones are raging for that week once a month. Armed with this knowledge makes it a little easier to prepare and/or see these thoughts for what they are.
I'm making progress. It's hard, but I'm getting there. And I'll continue this journey until my first thought isn't a self-deprecating one.
During the talking it out and patching it up portion of the conversation, Chebbar admitted that he hates it when I bash/insult myself, which apparently happens with a lot more regularity than I would have imagined. He said that it really bothers him to hear me speak so negatively and awfully about myself, with my constant FAIL! commentary.
It was a huge wake-up call. I know I'm hard on myself; hell, I know I can be downright ruthless where my perceived shortcomings are concerned. I know I don't cut myself enough slack and that I expect a lot (often too much) of myself. I know I'm my own worst critic. And I know that all the negative self-talk is "bad" for me.
However, I never would have guessed that it might have an impact on my relationship. In fact, I had absolutely no clue that it bothered him to the degree it does -- this was the first time in two years that he had flat-out told me to stop.
Even though I told him that this wasn't going to be an easy journey considering I've bad mouthed myself for as long as I can remember, I've made a concerted effort to at least keep the nasty comments to myself, if not turn them off completely. Over the past month and a half I have noticed that it's easy not to think poorly of myself when I'm not speaking them into existence (that pearl of wisdom borrowed from SYTYCD). As well, I have come to recognize that I am cruelest to myself when hormones are raging for that week once a month. Armed with this knowledge makes it a little easier to prepare and/or see these thoughts for what they are.
I'm making progress. It's hard, but I'm getting there. And I'll continue this journey until my first thought isn't a self-deprecating one.
Meme Monday
Big or small purses?
Medium to large
Did you dress up on Halloween?
Nope: not my holiday.
Can you put on mascara without opening your mouth?
I don't think I open my mouth when applying mascara... *ponders* I'll have to pay more attention tomorrow morning. lol
Eyeliner or mascara?
Both, but if I had to make a choice, mascara hands-down
American Eagle or Hollister?
Neither
Heels or Flats?
Flats
Skirts or jeans?
Jeans
Curly or straight hair?
My hair is curly, but I like it better when it's straightened (just too much damned work because I have too much damned hair)
Hoops or dangling earrings?
I wear the same diamond studs every day. That being said, the odd time I feel the urge to change 'em, (say danglers for a staff party), they feel foreign and weird and like everyone is staring at my earrings.
Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yup
Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?
Based on my dating history, I seem to have a preference for the brunettes.
Do you have a best friend?
Yup
Do you like your life?
Love it
Ever walked into the guy's bathroom?
Yup
Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
Yup
Ever slapped a guy in the face?
Yup -- he deserved it, too
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yup
Do you ever wish you were famous?
Nope
IN A BOY:
Preppy or Punk/goth?
Who cares what he wears?
Contacts or Glasses?:
Again, who cares?
Good cook or take you out a lot?
Good cook
Funny or Serious?
Funny, but knows when/how to be serious
Cute or Hot?
Cute
Long or short hair?
Short
Smoker or non-smoker?
Non-smoker
Tall or short?
Taller than me (which, at 5'2, isn't hard)
RANDOMS:
If you woke up in one of the Saw movies, do you think you could survive?
Oh god, no
Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided seeing them?
Oh god, yes. And I'd do it again. :P
Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice that you can't even stand it?
Nope
On average what do you think you cry about the most?
Whore moans
Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?
Most stuff
Who was the last guy you talked to?
Co-worker
Do you think best friends can be replaced?
I guess so
Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot to you?
He means the world to me
Do you think you have made a difference in any one's life?
I hope so
Which of your friends is the easiest to talk to?
D (but it's easy to talk to Chebbar about anything & everything, too)
Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Chebbar
Are you going anywhere next summer?
Nothing planned
Are you waiting for any one's call right now?
Nope
Are you shy?
Yes. Unfortunately this comes off as snobby to people who don't know me. However, once I get comfortable with people, all bets are off. ;)
Do you announce when you have to pee?
Depends on the company
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Chebbar -- poor guy ends up being my Kleenex 99% of the time
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Oh god, no. Everyone who knows me knows I have NO poker face.
How is life going for you right now?
Pretty damned good
Do you trust people easily?
Not until I get to know them/suss out of they're trustworthy
Do you give out second chances easily?
Depends on why I'm considering a second chance
Do you smile a lot?
Yup
One thing you're looking forward to?
The weekend
How do you feel about change?
Hate it
Have you ever cried from being so mad?
I don't generally do *mad* crying, but I'm all over the frustration cry
Last time you got a text message and smiled?
This morning from my bro
Have you ever made anyone laugh when they were crying?
Probably
Did you ever laugh so hard you cried?
Yup
Have you ever regretted letting someone go?
Yes and no: I wonder about the "what might have been," but I know it was the best thing for me at the time
Do you prefer to be around people, or by yourself?
Depends on the people and my mood ;)
If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive.
Probably not (at least, not for very long) lol
Medium to large
Did you dress up on Halloween?
Nope: not my holiday.
Can you put on mascara without opening your mouth?
I don't think I open my mouth when applying mascara... *ponders* I'll have to pay more attention tomorrow morning. lol
Eyeliner or mascara?
Both, but if I had to make a choice, mascara hands-down
American Eagle or Hollister?
Neither
Heels or Flats?
Flats
Skirts or jeans?
Jeans
Curly or straight hair?
My hair is curly, but I like it better when it's straightened (just too much damned work because I have too much damned hair)
Hoops or dangling earrings?
I wear the same diamond studs every day. That being said, the odd time I feel the urge to change 'em, (say danglers for a staff party), they feel foreign and weird and like everyone is staring at my earrings.
Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yup
Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?
Based on my dating history, I seem to have a preference for the brunettes.
Do you have a best friend?
Yup
Do you like your life?
Love it
Ever walked into the guy's bathroom?
Yup
Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
Yup
Ever slapped a guy in the face?
Yup -- he deserved it, too
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yup
Do you ever wish you were famous?
Nope
IN A BOY:
Preppy or Punk/goth?
Who cares what he wears?
Contacts or Glasses?:
Again, who cares?
Good cook or take you out a lot?
Good cook
Funny or Serious?
Funny, but knows when/how to be serious
Cute or Hot?
Cute
Long or short hair?
Short
Smoker or non-smoker?
Non-smoker
Tall or short?
Taller than me (which, at 5'2, isn't hard)
RANDOMS:
If you woke up in one of the Saw movies, do you think you could survive?
Oh god, no
Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided seeing them?
Oh god, yes. And I'd do it again. :P
Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice that you can't even stand it?
Nope
On average what do you think you cry about the most?
Whore moans
Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?
Most stuff
Who was the last guy you talked to?
Co-worker
Do you think best friends can be replaced?
I guess so
Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot to you?
He means the world to me
Do you think you have made a difference in any one's life?
I hope so
Which of your friends is the easiest to talk to?
D (but it's easy to talk to Chebbar about anything & everything, too)
Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Chebbar
Are you going anywhere next summer?
Nothing planned
Are you waiting for any one's call right now?
Nope
Are you shy?
Yes. Unfortunately this comes off as snobby to people who don't know me. However, once I get comfortable with people, all bets are off. ;)
Do you announce when you have to pee?
Depends on the company
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Chebbar -- poor guy ends up being my Kleenex 99% of the time
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Oh god, no. Everyone who knows me knows I have NO poker face.
How is life going for you right now?
Pretty damned good
Do you trust people easily?
Not until I get to know them/suss out of they're trustworthy
Do you give out second chances easily?
Depends on why I'm considering a second chance
Do you smile a lot?
Yup
One thing you're looking forward to?
The weekend
How do you feel about change?
Hate it
Have you ever cried from being so mad?
I don't generally do *mad* crying, but I'm all over the frustration cry
Last time you got a text message and smiled?
This morning from my bro
Have you ever made anyone laugh when they were crying?
Probably
Did you ever laugh so hard you cried?
Yup
Have you ever regretted letting someone go?
Yes and no: I wonder about the "what might have been," but I know it was the best thing for me at the time
Do you prefer to be around people, or by yourself?
Depends on the people and my mood ;)
If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive.
Probably not (at least, not for very long) lol
Thursday, June 4, 2009
When I moved into the apartment, I stopped the boredom/habit eating -- I only ate in the evening (after dinner) if I was hungry (i.e. had a small dinner (grilled cheese sandwich anyone?) or had eaten quite early). Somewhere along the line (I think after Chebbar moved in), the evening snacking started back up (so did the mid-morning or mid-afternoon snacking). I have become horrible with eating just because he is, which is so stupid, I know.
I was doing well Monday & Tuesday, with nothing after dinner except my Sleepy Time tea. It was hard because a) I felt like I was *missing* something (missing out on something, perhaps?), and b) I often feel a craving for something sweet after dinner. Before, I would have one or two Cows after dinner and be done with it. Now, I find myself ignoring the craving, placating myself with "you can have something sweet LATER." Later involving ice cream. Or cookies. Ortwo four six two handfuls of Cows. *blush* Monday & Tuesday, I had the sweet tooth craving, but ignored it; I also ignored the "ooh! It's 9:30! I can eat crap now!" urge.
Last night? Eh, not so great. I had gone to Walmart earlier and was craving gummi candy and/or chocolate (I blame FLOrence Henderson -- that being said, I generally will cut myself a little slack during this time of the month, just making sure to try and not eat everything in sight). I wandered up and down the food aisles, but nothing jumped out at me, so I went up to the checkouts with no goodies. However. Once in line, I was eyeing all the impulse items for some kind of treat, like a junkie looking for a fix. I spied a solitary bag of peanut butter M&Ms and was thisclose to grabbing it, but reasoned that I'd likely eat the whole bag, so I left it where it was, telling myself I'd have a popsicle when I got home (sweet, cool, and not too bad for me).
I did have half a popsicle when I got home (who packages the pink with LIME? Ewww!). However, around 9:30, I was feeling hungry-ish (I had been period-hungry all day, eating my afternoon granola bar about an hour early, and tucking into about 3/4 cup of trail mix in between making Chebbar's lunch and finally getting my own dinner at 7:30), and wanted something cookie.Unfortunately Fortunately, we had no cookies in the house, so I satisfied the pang with two Cracker Jack rice cakes. (Hmm... mine don't have the yummy-looking icing on them: I wonder if that's one of those lovely serving suggestions, or are us Canadians being deprived of icing?)
You know what? I didn't feel bad and I didn't beat myself up for it. I recognized that I had felt hungry all day and congratulated myself on passing up the higher- calorie garbage at Walmart. I realized that it was just one day, and that today presented a new opportunity.
I've been semi-active (Wii Fit, which, while it makes me sweaty, isn't really much of a "work out") every day this week so far, and I've done really well with my water for the past two days (ten glasses compared to my usual six to seven) -- mostly because of the heat, but I know I need to make more of an effort on that front, too.
I read Linda's comment on Jennifer's post at Bodies in Motivation and something she wrote struck me: I am choosing to eat better/be more active/get more sleep/be kinder to myself, etc. I've read and heard it before, but it never really clicked. I'm not sure why it finally sunk in, but I'm glad it did. If I can remember than I am choosing to do these things *for me*, perhaps it making that choice and performing the action will be a little easier and maybe even a little more fulfilling.
I was doing well Monday & Tuesday, with nothing after dinner except my Sleepy Time tea. It was hard because a) I felt like I was *missing* something (missing out on something, perhaps?), and b) I often feel a craving for something sweet after dinner. Before, I would have one or two Cows after dinner and be done with it. Now, I find myself ignoring the craving, placating myself with "you can have something sweet LATER." Later involving ice cream. Or cookies. Or
Last night? Eh, not so great. I had gone to Walmart earlier and was craving gummi candy and/or chocolate (I blame FLOrence Henderson -- that being said, I generally will cut myself a little slack during this time of the month, just making sure to try and not eat everything in sight). I wandered up and down the food aisles, but nothing jumped out at me, so I went up to the checkouts with no goodies. However. Once in line, I was eyeing all the impulse items for some kind of treat, like a junkie looking for a fix. I spied a solitary bag of peanut butter M&Ms and was thisclose to grabbing it, but reasoned that I'd likely eat the whole bag, so I left it where it was, telling myself I'd have a popsicle when I got home (sweet, cool, and not too bad for me).
I did have half a popsicle when I got home (who packages the pink with LIME? Ewww!). However, around 9:30, I was feeling hungry-ish (I had been period-hungry all day, eating my afternoon granola bar about an hour early, and tucking into about 3/4 cup of trail mix in between making Chebbar's lunch and finally getting my own dinner at 7:30), and wanted something cookie.
You know what? I didn't feel bad and I didn't beat myself up for it. I recognized that I had felt hungry all day and congratulated myself on passing up the higher- calorie garbage at Walmart. I realized that it was just one day, and that today presented a new opportunity.
I've been semi-active (Wii Fit, which, while it makes me sweaty, isn't really much of a "work out") every day this week so far, and I've done really well with my water for the past two days (ten glasses compared to my usual six to seven) -- mostly because of the heat, but I know I need to make more of an effort on that front, too.
I read Linda's comment on Jennifer's post at Bodies in Motivation and something she wrote struck me: I am choosing to eat better/be more active/get more sleep/be kinder to myself, etc. I've read and heard it before, but it never really clicked. I'm not sure why it finally sunk in, but I'm glad it did. If I can remember than I am choosing to do these things *for me*, perhaps it making that choice and performing the action will be a little easier and maybe even a little more fulfilling.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
The Back Story
I always thought I was "fat" in high school. *snort* Yeah, all 125 lbs of me. Holy shit: I can't believe I'm almost 100 lbs heavier than I was 12 years ago. That's some scary shit. After high school, when I stopped walking everywhere and stopped surviving on a bag of Doritos all day, and when I started going to the bar (read: calorie-heavy alcoholic beverages plus fast food trips at the end of the night), I started gaining weight. I think I got up around 145.
I didn't really start to gain until I had my heart broken for the first time at 22 -- I just didn't care anymore. I steadily gained weight, passing the 165 mark, and didn't really *notice* until I weighed 185 lbs. I wasn't happy, but I didn't try very hard to change it, either.
I've always had this notion in the back of my head that I must not WANT to lose weight badly enough or I would have done something by now. That way of thinking is going to be put to the curb.
When I moved into my condo 2 years ago, I was at my heaviest (206, but a healthy 206: when I had my physical for my mortgage insurance, the nurse was astounded by my low heart rate and blood pressure). I started making healthier food choices; I stopped eating so much junk food (I didn't cut it out completely, though: I know myself well enough to know that if I deprive myself of something, I'll end up going on a bender of a binge); I found that I was no longer doing the boredom eating I did while I lived with my parents; I was *far* more active than I had been at home, too (in fact, I worked out so much I had to cut back because I was hurting myself).
The weight started coming off s-l-o-w-l-y, a pound or two at a time. I didn't own a scale. The only time I'd weigh myself was when I'd visit G & D, which was only about once a month. I'll never forget the night in the shower when I realized my thighs weren't jiggling when I washed them! lol I started noticing little changes in my body -- muscle definition, skin tone, strength -- and in how my clothes fit.
It took me 8 months to lose 25 lbs, but I did: by May of 2007, I was down to 181 lbs. I had to buy new clothes. I looked good and felt GREAT. And, to me, I had done it the "easy" way -- I didn't starve myself or subsist on carrot sticks and lettuce leaves or kill myself trying to run 5 miles a day: I made simple changes in my eating habits and made an effort to be active at least 3 times a week.
Then I met Chebbar.
Chebbar, being the proverbial bachelor, ate many, many meals out; it was so bad that some days he'd eat out for all 3 meals. One of the things we enjoyed doing was going for dinner. He was also a rabid Coke drinker -- he could put away a 2-liter bottle in an hour. Somehow, I found myself drinking pop (instead of my usual water) when he did. Overnight, I went from being someone who ate out *maybe* twice a month, to someone who ate out twice a week; from being someone who religiously drank 6-8 glasses of water per day (often times closer to 10-12) with the odd pop on a weekend, to someone who could go an entire weekend with nothing but carbonated beverages.
By December of 2007, I had gained 15 lbs.
Poor Chebbar feels a lot of guilt in regards to these changes, maintaining that if he hadn't come along, I'd still be living a healthy(ish) lifestyle. He gets a good cuff upside the head when he goes there because I'm a big girl (pun not intended *wink*) who was/is fully capable of saying "no," and because I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world, least of all a size 2 body (ain't never gonna happen: I'm big boned-ed). Besides, I now know that my ability to be so damned focused on what went into my mouth and how I moved my ass had more to do with being lonely and miserable than anything else.
At the beginning of 2008, I got extremely stressed (Chebbar had been laid off for 4 months at that point and had no idea what he was going to do with himself once the EI ran out: I took that worry on myself) and, by March, had gained an additional 10 lbs (for those of you playing along at home, I was now back to my highest weight of 206). In May of last year, I found out that my boss was set to retire and I had 3 months to find a job. Those were 3 of the most stressful months of my life. I suffered from insomnia for pretty much the entire 90 days. As a result of the stress and lack of sleep, I continued to gain and gain, primarily in my belly (boy, do I have a pooch now!).
And here we are, at 220 lbs.
I really don't like myself right now. I want to say I hate myself, but that sounds so awful and self-destructive. I also don't like facing just how much my appearance is tied into my self-worth -- I'm SO much more than the size of my ass or a number on a scale. However, my self-esteem in ALL areas of my life suffers something horrible when I dislike my body. I have a feeling that part of the reason I'm so hard on myself with everything else is because I feel like those are the only things I have any control over, so when I "fail," I feel like I'm a failure at everything. I think it's possible that I might be able to cut myself a little more slack on the inside if I weren't so unhappy with the outside.
Even though it took me a long time to lose that 25 lbs, I seem to have this notion in my head that this regained (and newly gained) weight should just melt off overnight. I get VERY frustrated by (what I see as) my lack of progress. That being said, I've done it before and I know I can do it again; I just need to reprogram my way of thinking.
Allllllll this being said, these are my goals:
1. Make healthier food choices, including not eating/drinking what Chebbar is just because I can.
2. Stopping to pay attention to whether or not I'm actually hungry, or just bored (or just eating because Chebbar is).
3. Being active a minimum of 3 days per week.
4. Focusing on health, wellness, and fitness -- if I lose a pound or two along the way, it's gravy (that pun WAS intended).
I also need to assist Chebbar, as well (his request, not mine). He's definitely improved since last year: we don't dine out as much as we used to, and his Coke consumption is WAY down (seriously, I can't adequately convey how bad it was: he would literally drink 6 liters of Coke a day and nothing else; now he has trouble finishing a single can). Unfortunately, he's not losing any weight because the shift he's on at work sees him leaving at 6am and not getting home until after 9pm, at which point he has to go straight to bed so he can get up and do it again the next day. However, we've talked about getting a treadmill, exercise bike, or elliptical.
We both have a long road ahead of us (we could both stand to lose about 60 lbs a piece), but I think we'll make it, as long as we're patient and stick to it.
If you've read this far, you get a cookie. I can't have any more. :P
I didn't really start to gain until I had my heart broken for the first time at 22 -- I just didn't care anymore. I steadily gained weight, passing the 165 mark, and didn't really *notice* until I weighed 185 lbs. I wasn't happy, but I didn't try very hard to change it, either.
I've always had this notion in the back of my head that I must not WANT to lose weight badly enough or I would have done something by now. That way of thinking is going to be put to the curb.
When I moved into my condo 2 years ago, I was at my heaviest (206, but a healthy 206: when I had my physical for my mortgage insurance, the nurse was astounded by my low heart rate and blood pressure). I started making healthier food choices; I stopped eating so much junk food (I didn't cut it out completely, though: I know myself well enough to know that if I deprive myself of something, I'll end up going on a bender of a binge); I found that I was no longer doing the boredom eating I did while I lived with my parents; I was *far* more active than I had been at home, too (in fact, I worked out so much I had to cut back because I was hurting myself).
The weight started coming off s-l-o-w-l-y, a pound or two at a time. I didn't own a scale. The only time I'd weigh myself was when I'd visit G & D, which was only about once a month. I'll never forget the night in the shower when I realized my thighs weren't jiggling when I washed them! lol I started noticing little changes in my body -- muscle definition, skin tone, strength -- and in how my clothes fit.
It took me 8 months to lose 25 lbs, but I did: by May of 2007, I was down to 181 lbs. I had to buy new clothes. I looked good and felt GREAT. And, to me, I had done it the "easy" way -- I didn't starve myself or subsist on carrot sticks and lettuce leaves or kill myself trying to run 5 miles a day: I made simple changes in my eating habits and made an effort to be active at least 3 times a week.
Then I met Chebbar.
Chebbar, being the proverbial bachelor, ate many, many meals out; it was so bad that some days he'd eat out for all 3 meals. One of the things we enjoyed doing was going for dinner. He was also a rabid Coke drinker -- he could put away a 2-liter bottle in an hour. Somehow, I found myself drinking pop (instead of my usual water) when he did. Overnight, I went from being someone who ate out *maybe* twice a month, to someone who ate out twice a week; from being someone who religiously drank 6-8 glasses of water per day (often times closer to 10-12) with the odd pop on a weekend, to someone who could go an entire weekend with nothing but carbonated beverages.
By December of 2007, I had gained 15 lbs.
Poor Chebbar feels a lot of guilt in regards to these changes, maintaining that if he hadn't come along, I'd still be living a healthy(ish) lifestyle. He gets a good cuff upside the head when he goes there because I'm a big girl (pun not intended *wink*) who was/is fully capable of saying "no," and because I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world, least of all a size 2 body (ain't never gonna happen: I'm big boned-ed). Besides, I now know that my ability to be so damned focused on what went into my mouth and how I moved my ass had more to do with being lonely and miserable than anything else.
At the beginning of 2008, I got extremely stressed (Chebbar had been laid off for 4 months at that point and had no idea what he was going to do with himself once the EI ran out: I took that worry on myself) and, by March, had gained an additional 10 lbs (for those of you playing along at home, I was now back to my highest weight of 206). In May of last year, I found out that my boss was set to retire and I had 3 months to find a job. Those were 3 of the most stressful months of my life. I suffered from insomnia for pretty much the entire 90 days. As a result of the stress and lack of sleep, I continued to gain and gain, primarily in my belly (boy, do I have a pooch now!).
And here we are, at 220 lbs.
I really don't like myself right now. I want to say I hate myself, but that sounds so awful and self-destructive. I also don't like facing just how much my appearance is tied into my self-worth -- I'm SO much more than the size of my ass or a number on a scale. However, my self-esteem in ALL areas of my life suffers something horrible when I dislike my body. I have a feeling that part of the reason I'm so hard on myself with everything else is because I feel like those are the only things I have any control over, so when I "fail," I feel like I'm a failure at everything. I think it's possible that I might be able to cut myself a little more slack on the inside if I weren't so unhappy with the outside.
Even though it took me a long time to lose that 25 lbs, I seem to have this notion in my head that this regained (and newly gained) weight should just melt off overnight. I get VERY frustrated by (what I see as) my lack of progress. That being said, I've done it before and I know I can do it again; I just need to reprogram my way of thinking.
Allllllll this being said, these are my goals:
1. Make healthier food choices, including not eating/drinking what Chebbar is just because I can.
2. Stopping to pay attention to whether or not I'm actually hungry, or just bored (or just eating because Chebbar is).
3. Being active a minimum of 3 days per week.
4. Focusing on health, wellness, and fitness -- if I lose a pound or two along the way, it's gravy (that pun WAS intended).
I also need to assist Chebbar, as well (his request, not mine). He's definitely improved since last year: we don't dine out as much as we used to, and his Coke consumption is WAY down (seriously, I can't adequately convey how bad it was: he would literally drink 6 liters of Coke a day and nothing else; now he has trouble finishing a single can). Unfortunately, he's not losing any weight because the shift he's on at work sees him leaving at 6am and not getting home until after 9pm, at which point he has to go straight to bed so he can get up and do it again the next day. However, we've talked about getting a treadmill, exercise bike, or elliptical.
We both have a long road ahead of us (we could both stand to lose about 60 lbs a piece), but I think we'll make it, as long as we're patient and stick to it.
If you've read this far, you get a cookie. I can't have any more. :P
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
An Introduction
O hai. I write a blog o' nonsense over here. I've been spewing my Very Important Crap over there for almost a year; however, I'm not sure if these entries will jive with those entries, so I figured I gotta keep 'em separated. Ha! I crack myself up. *eye roll*
For the most part, I know that I am a relatively intelligent person; I am honest; I am loyal; I am generous and kind; I'm a good listener and always willing to lend a hand. I am fundamentally a good person who is loved by enough people that they can't all be wrong.
However.
At any given time, on any given day, I can be engulfed by self-doubt, insecurity, uncertainty. I am much harder on and expect far more of myself than I do anyone else on the face of the planet. It's difficult for me to cut myself any slack whatsoever. I am an over-achieving, anal-retentive, perfectionist; everything I don't succeed at is deemed a failure. I find it hard to like myself, never mind LOVE myself. It is a constant struggle not to be overwhelmed by the negativity.
Pathetically enough, the majority of my self-loathing stems from my dislike of and unhappiness with my body. I am ashamed to admit that I lose all self-worth when I get caught up in how I look, how much I weigh, how poorly my clothes fit. There's SO much more to me -- I am more than just a number on a scale! And while I know this intellectually, psychologically I just can't get over that hurdle (mostly because I can't heave my ass up over it... lol). I am the heaviest I've ever been, packing 220.9 pounds on my 5'2 frame.
Not long after New Year's, I posted on the other blog some things I wanted to work on, most notably
and more importantly,
I started a second, private blog back then. I posted a whopping four times. Aaaaaand then I fell off the wagon. Again. For the eleventy-millionth time.
This time? This time there's no hiding behind anonymity. This time this sucker's going to be public for everyone in intarwebz land (or the 2.3 people that read the other blog) to see. Maybe if I feel accountable to someone, I'll be more likely to remain on track.
So, here goes everything.
For the most part, I know that I am a relatively intelligent person; I am honest; I am loyal; I am generous and kind; I'm a good listener and always willing to lend a hand. I am fundamentally a good person who is loved by enough people that they can't all be wrong.
However.
At any given time, on any given day, I can be engulfed by self-doubt, insecurity, uncertainty. I am much harder on and expect far more of myself than I do anyone else on the face of the planet. It's difficult for me to cut myself any slack whatsoever. I am an over-achieving, anal-retentive, perfectionist; everything I don't succeed at is deemed a failure. I find it hard to like myself, never mind LOVE myself. It is a constant struggle not to be overwhelmed by the negativity.
Pathetically enough, the majority of my self-loathing stems from my dislike of and unhappiness with my body. I am ashamed to admit that I lose all self-worth when I get caught up in how I look, how much I weigh, how poorly my clothes fit. There's SO much more to me -- I am more than just a number on a scale! And while I know this intellectually, psychologically I just can't get over that hurdle (mostly because I can't heave my ass up over it... lol). I am the heaviest I've ever been, packing 220.9 pounds on my 5'2 frame.
Not long after New Year's, I posted on the other blog some things I wanted to work on, most notably
1) I need to stop thinking in terms of success and failure.
1)a) When/if I don't succeed, I need to stop being so damned hard on myself and quit viewing it as an abject failure.
and more importantly,
5) I need to get back on track with caring for myself and focusing on my health. I've gained SO much weight in the past year or so and it's bogging me down mentally as well as physically. I don't *like* myself right now. I hate that my self-worth is somehow tied to my appearance (to me), but there it is. I need to change that -- I'm so much more than the size of my ass, even if it IS substantial.
5)a) I need to refocus my attention on being FIT and HEALTHY, and end the tunnel vision on weight loss (this worked well for me two years ago, so I'd like to get back to that).
5)b) I need to try to make peace with myself and my body. I would love to be comfortable in the skin I'm in right now, but I'll be content to appreciate the other things about me that make me the wonderful person I know I am.
I started a second, private blog back then. I posted a whopping four times. Aaaaaand then I fell off the wagon. Again. For the eleventy-millionth time.
This time? This time there's no hiding behind anonymity. This time this sucker's going to be public for everyone in intarwebz land (or the 2.3 people that read the other blog) to see. Maybe if I feel accountable to someone, I'll be more likely to remain on track.
So, here goes everything.
Meme Monday (Tuesday)
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Hair
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
White
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Of course!
4. Do you plan outfits?
Plan how? In advance? Not often.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Wrung out -- too hot!
6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
My day planner
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Don't remember
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Not unless the courier guy counts
9. What are you craving right now?
Ice cold water
10. Do you floss?
Not often enough
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Ew
12. Are you emotional?
Ha! Have you MET me?!?
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Probably. Not as in counting to 10 to calm down.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Both
15. Do you like your hair?
Some days
16. Do you like yourself?
Not often enough
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Hell no
18. What are you listening to right now?
The Peak
19. Are your parents strict?
I think they are (were?) fair
20. Would you go sky diving?
Possibly
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Yup
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Nope
23. Do you rent movies often?
Not really
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
My wit and personality?
25. How many countries have you visited?
1 other than my own
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Who hasn't?
27. Ever been on a train?
Does the Sky Train count? If not, then no.
28. Brown or white eggs?
Do they taste different?
29. Do you have a cell-phone?
Duh
30. Do you use chap stick?
Aveeno
31. Do you own a gun?
Hell, no
32. Can you use chop sticks?
Nope
33. Who are you going to be with today?
Co-workers & Chebbar
34. Are you too forgiving?
Probably
35. Ever been in love?
Yup
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
Working
37. Ever have cream puffs?
I don't think so?
38. Last time you cried?
Don't remember, but FLOrence Henderson is visiting, so could be ANY minute!
39. What was the last question you asked?
Work-related
40. Favorite time of the year?
Spring
41. Do you have any tattoos?
4
42. Are you sarcastic?
Me? No!
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Yup
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Yup
45. Favorite color?
Purple
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yup. He deserved it, too.
47. Is your hair curly?
OMG yes.
48. What was the last CD you bought?
Not sure...
49. Do looks matter?
Nope
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Unlikely
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
Not for two people who both have voice mail and caller ID
52. Do you like your life right now?
Love it
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
No TV in the bedroom
54. Can you handle the truth?
Mostly
55. Do you have good vision?
If I have my contacts in
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Why 3? How did you come up with that number?
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Well, I answer one all day if that's any indication
58. The last person you held hands with?
Chebbar
59. What are you wearing?
Short-sleeved sweater, capris, sandals
60.What is your favorite animal?
Doggehs
61. Where was your default picture taken?
Probably my mom's house
62. Can you hula hoop?
Does Wii Fit count?
63. Do you have a job?
Yes, thank Ceiling Cat
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Slurpees and a thermometer (but not to stick in the Slurpees)
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yup
Hair
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
White
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Of course!
4. Do you plan outfits?
Plan how? In advance? Not often.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Wrung out -- too hot!
6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?
My day planner
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Don't remember
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Not unless the courier guy counts
9. What are you craving right now?
Ice cold water
10. Do you floss?
Not often enough
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Ew
12. Are you emotional?
Ha! Have you MET me?!?
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Probably. Not as in counting to 10 to calm down.
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Both
15. Do you like your hair?
Some days
16. Do you like yourself?
Not often enough
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Hell no
18. What are you listening to right now?
The Peak
19. Are your parents strict?
I think they are (were?) fair
20. Would you go sky diving?
Possibly
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Yup
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Nope
23. Do you rent movies often?
Not really
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
My wit and personality?
25. How many countries have you visited?
1 other than my own
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Who hasn't?
27. Ever been on a train?
Does the Sky Train count? If not, then no.
28. Brown or white eggs?
Do they taste different?
29. Do you have a cell-phone?
Duh
30. Do you use chap stick?
Aveeno
31. Do you own a gun?
Hell, no
32. Can you use chop sticks?
Nope
33. Who are you going to be with today?
Co-workers & Chebbar
34. Are you too forgiving?
Probably
35. Ever been in love?
Yup
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
Working
37. Ever have cream puffs?
I don't think so?
38. Last time you cried?
Don't remember, but FLOrence Henderson is visiting, so could be ANY minute!
39. What was the last question you asked?
Work-related
40. Favorite time of the year?
Spring
41. Do you have any tattoos?
4
42. Are you sarcastic?
Me? No!
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Yup
44. Ever walked into a wall?
Yup
45. Favorite color?
Purple
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yup. He deserved it, too.
47. Is your hair curly?
OMG yes.
48. What was the last CD you bought?
Not sure...
49. Do looks matter?
Nope
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Unlikely
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
Not for two people who both have voice mail and caller ID
52. Do you like your life right now?
Love it
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
No TV in the bedroom
54. Can you handle the truth?
Mostly
55. Do you have good vision?
If I have my contacts in
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Why 3? How did you come up with that number?
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Well, I answer one all day if that's any indication
58. The last person you held hands with?
Chebbar
59. What are you wearing?
Short-sleeved sweater, capris, sandals
60.What is your favorite animal?
Doggehs
61. Where was your default picture taken?
Probably my mom's house
62. Can you hula hoop?
Does Wii Fit count?
63. Do you have a job?
Yes, thank Ceiling Cat
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Slurpees and a thermometer (but not to stick in the Slurpees)
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yup
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