Yesterday was my monthly weigh-in and measuring day: the results were... mixed. The "bad" news is that I gained 0.9lbs; however, the good news is that I did lose 1" overall (did lose 1.5" off my waist, but gained an inch back in the bewbs, etc). Here, I'll show you... *deep breath*
("Waist" is the measurement right above my belly button; "gut" is the belly fat below my belly button.)
I know where I went "wrong." The last two weeks of January involved my mysterious health issue(s), family emergencies, and the associated stress: we walked a grand total of four times in the past 14 days. Not cool.
As well, Aunt Flo will visit next week, so that might be skewing my weight a smidgen.
As well, Aunt Flo will visit next week, so that might be skewing my weight a smidgen.
Now, since my focus is meant to be on health and well-being, I'm proud of the fact that I still seem to be building muscle/reducing fat - that I've lost EIGHT INCHES since September (again, not great for some, but great for me); I'm eating better than I have in a long time; and even if we haven't been doing great with keeping up with it, we are more conscious of our need for exercise. As well, I'm feeling more... at peace with my body. Don't get me wrong: I'm not all of a sudden 100% satisfied with my size/shape/fitness level. However, I'm recognizing my body for it is - strong, dependable (mostly), and the only one I have. This is good. I've experienced this shift in mind-set before, and it helped me lose 25 pounds and gain a level of fitness (never mind self-satisfaction) that I don't think I'd ever felt before. For me, the mental aspect is almost the most important aspect, and possibly the biggest hurdle. I just need to get back into the Enjoying Exercise groove, and we're good!
I finished "Do I Look Fat in This?" by Jessica Weiner (very thought-provoking: I want to give it its own blog post soon) recently, and am currently reading a book on intuitive eating. They both leave me with a lot to... chew on (pun intended). However, I find myself feeling really conflicted when I see tweets or read blogs that are the polar opposite. And when I'm having a particularly bad day, I can't help but wonder how these people would JUDGE me if they saw me eating a cookie while their stomachs rumbled as they pounded out another 500 calories on the treadmill - I can find myself feeling inadequate and like I'm not trying hard enough. But then I remember that I have to do this in the way that's best for ME, and if others judge me for that, it says far more about them than it does about me.
Much as I've lamented before, there's SO much contradictory information out there on every topic you can imagine, that it's hard to know what to believe and what to discard. As well, when you're in the very tentative process of forming fragile new ways of thinking, it can be disconcerting to feel that the opinion you felt relatively strongly about three minutes ago has been shaken to its core. At least *I* do - maybe most people are secure enough in themselves to pick a stance and stick with it, regardless of what they read/see/hear. It has left me feeling like I need to unfollow people on Twitter and stop reading certain blogs at times. Anyone else experience this? How did you handle it?
Much as I've lamented before, there's SO much contradictory information out there on every topic you can imagine, that it's hard to know what to believe and what to discard. As well, when you're in the very tentative process of forming fragile new ways of thinking, it can be disconcerting to feel that the opinion you felt relatively strongly about three minutes ago has been shaken to its core. At least *I* do - maybe most people are secure enough in themselves to pick a stance and stick with it, regardless of what they read/see/hear. It has left me feeling like I need to unfollow people on Twitter and stop reading certain blogs at times. Anyone else experience this? How did you handle it?
You are lovely.
ReplyDeleteBut you haven't quit, you haven't given up and all you can do is keep fighting a good fight, let go of the past and move forward from here.
ReplyDeleteI think you said it best yourself "if others judge me for that, it says far more about them than it does about me." It's your journey, you're the one who's going to have to live the life you're creating, so if you want a cookie, I say have a cookie! I struggle a lot with all the mixed messaging - everything in moderation/don't you dare eat that, etc. It sounds like you've made positive steps and that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteI think 8" is great for anyone!! I'm glad you're looking at the positive things that your body has been doing/showing lately, rather than the lbs on the scale. Hope you have a great week!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you're doing great! Second of all, on the reading all the information thing, I generally sit back and try to remember that other people are in much different places that I'm in. I'm in a place where I'm trying to make heathier baby steps. I'm not in a place where I can start being concrete about anything. I'm also trying to remember that I am not other people. I've got to find my own path through this mess, and while I love reading about other people's paths, they are just that. Some are inspirational. Some are just people who I feel a huge affinity with, since they are finding their paths as I find mine. Some are starting in the same place as me and I enjoy watching them succeed through other means than I am using. I see reading people's blogs as visiting friends, rather than a learning experience.
ReplyDeleteI agree there is tons of information that is contradictory. I have found that it's best to do what your body tells you. Not everything that is out there will work for everyone.
ReplyDeleteAlso 8 inches...Congrats!
I would hope nobody in the weight loss community would judge you! You have to do things YOUR way, otherwise any results you gain (or loss as it were) would be fleeting at best.
ReplyDeleteWell as you know from my own recent post I get it... totally. I guess we just have to keep telling ourselves that nothing worthwhile is ever easy and try to find out what works best for us instead of worrying about what other people do/think. Easier said than done of course.
ReplyDeleteI'm really starting to believe that all bodies are different/unique and so some things work for one person that won't work as well for another. When you consider how complicated our bodies are it makes sense really.
(oh thanks for your comment too! I'll be adding your blog to my reading list!)
You are doing really amazing, you are inspiring. Going to go check out that book on goodreads now.
ReplyDelete