I started feeling more and more overwhelmed as last week went on; even though I didn't realize it at the time, I was trying to really wrap my head around the fact that Chebbar won't be around as much now that he's working. I also had some... issues with chores that I didn't realize until it came to a(n ugly) head on Sunday.
Long, ugly, private story short, suffice it to say there was some of this,
...as well as some honest and heartfelt discussion, number crunching, a request for an extension on his correspondence course, and a resolution to find Chebbar a different job (he is highly unhappy because they misrepresented what the job would entail).
I hate not being able to fix this for him. I hate that I can't make it better. I hate that I can't alleviate any of his stress or worry. I hate that I feel so helpless and useless and scared and worried and completely overwhelmed. I feel like a balloon filled to capacity sitting thisclose to a pin.
We'll be okay. We'll get through this, one way or another. It's just hard to keep that in sight when everything feels so fucktastically shiteous.
I am so saddened to hear that the job, which should have been a great stress reliever, because a stress builder. I wish both of you a speedy resolution to the job issue. I recommend doing some meditative type of exercises, like Yoga. It will help you feel better, believe me. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm glad I'm not the only one who shuts down when faced with crap that I really shouldn't shut down about. I haven't blogged in a few weeks either. Maybe at some point tomorrow I'll take a deep breath and write it all down. Just remember that whatever happens, you'll get through it. It's just a matter of doing the getting through that sucks. *hugs!*
ReplyDeleteOne minute, one hour, one day at a time. That's the only way to do it. And just keep in mind - as often as not, one door closes, but another one opens. Just keep after it - things will work themselves out.
ReplyDelete*sighs*
ReplyDeleteYeah. I get it. I so get this.
I'm so sorry to hear the new job isn't what you thought it would be.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I coud spout a lot of "stay positive" type stuff but I don't know if that is what you want to hear right now.
How about, I'll send some positive vibes your way & hope everything works out for the best (& soon!) for you & your family.
Lynn
Oh honey. I'm so sorry. I love you big much.
ReplyDeleteOh it sounds like time for some nice deep breaths. It's got to be a transition time. When those happen to me, all hell breaks loose and my world crashes down around me. Then when I wake up after the massive destruction and look around, I see a whole new world with all kinds of possibilities that I never considered pre-war. Not to be too Pollyannaish on you or anything but, you could look at this chaotic time as clearing debris for a better life in every way. Excitement for the future. Just think about all the wonderful things that can happen when it's all done. :)
ReplyDeleteSorry you're having a hard time.