Well, mostly right.
Tonight is his first official night of training: he's there 3:30-12. He was still sleeping when I left for work. He was already gone when I got home. I'll (hopefully) be sleeping when he gets home (NOT because I don't want to see him - god, no - but because I slept like shit last night and was still awake at 1:30 this morning; also, I have a history of not sleeping well period, never mind when he's not home). We'll do this dance again tomorrow night, and again Monday through Thursday. I did get to talk to him before he went to work, and again while he was on his break. As well, I told him tonight that if he wanted, I could always zip over there during his breaks (we only live five minutes away).
The following week starting Sunday, he'll work 1:30-10; chances are that this will be his shift going forward (at least for the foreseeable future). It looks like he'll likely get either Wednesday/Thursday or Thursday/Friday off. Yes, he'll be working evenings on the weekends, too.
This is where the tough starts. A month before I started this here blog, Chebbar went back to work after an eight-month layoff. The... growing pains were difficult: he was here every day when I came home from work for 200+ days. At that time, we'd never lived together while he was working. It was a big shift for me to get used to being on my own again in the evenings. But eventually we got used to it and got into a pattern again.
This time is a little different. His days off? I'll be at work for the majority of the time. My days off? He'll be at work for the majority of the time. Granted, 1:30-10 is preferable to 3:30-12 simply because I'll likely be able to see him for a little bit before I have to go to bed. Big changes in when we spend our time together, never mind how we spend our time together.
I'm having a tough time not breaking down right now. In all honesty, it's simply a matter of shutting down (as usual): I'm numb at the moment. And really, it's unfair of me - I feel like a spoiled brat. Even though we're only a tiny bit short of my wage in monthly expenses and have savings to tide us over, the second income is going to be huge for us. I can't count how many variations of "Yay! I'm not a bum anymore!" I've heard since he got the job on Monday - HE needed the job if only for the boost to his self-worth. Right out of the gate, they'll be saving us $102/month in provincial healthcare expenses; after his probation is up, we'll likely save more by going with his company's extended health benefits than what we're paying privately. There are a lot of pros to this job.
However, there's one large con: I'll miss him terribly.
Oh, Chibi. That sounds so, so hard. And definitely like something you're allowed to complain about and lament for a little while. I hope you guys fall into a pattern easily and it ends up not being as bad as you fear. Big squishy hugs to get you through the transition.
ReplyDeleteOh honey I DO know. My husband and I are on a "not seeing each other very often" thing right now and have been since September and although I have always been a woman who enjoys her "alone time" - this? I ain't liking it. AT all.
ReplyDeleteHugs hugs hugs to you.AND congrats to Chebbar
My best friend and her hubby are going through some thing similar. :-( They are trying their best to cope with the change. Good luck with that. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm sniffly for you. I know...move down here. I'll hang out with you while Cheb works. And then the world will be a happier place. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy bf and I have similar schedules. We have Sundays off together and other than that, we rarely see eachother at all during the week. I am sleeping when he gets home, and he is sleeping when I get up for work. SUCKS!!!
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie, that's so rough, I know! My husband's previous job he worked a varying shift, which means one week it would be 8-5, next week could be 12-8. By the time he got home on the late shifts he was grumpy, and didn't have time to even see the kids before their bedtimes, and it was rather unfun. But, having the extra income was a BIG stress reliever and he was the same as Chebbar in that if he wasn't working he felt horrible and worthless and guilty.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, you two will find a way to spend some time together. I recommend too leaving little notes for each other, it's just another way to maintain that connection and get a little warm fuzzy now and then.
Aww. That really stinks. MB and I have similar problems. He works 24hour shifts 2 days a week along with overtime and training that can take him away for a week at a time. I work shift work (days and evenings) during the week and weekends. We often sleep apart because of our schedules and have to plan date night so we can see each other. It's hard, but you just make it work. Don't worry. It'll get easier. We kind of like having our date night. It makes our time together that much more special.
ReplyDeleteYou guys will be fine.
Hang in there. :)
Awww Cheebs...the scheduling is rotten. I've been there, done that before-when C was in school & driving 1.5hrs each way 7 days a week for classes & work. Throw in a newborn baby on top of that & I wanted to lose my ever-lovin' mind. Before you know it, you & Chebbar will have a new "normal" & settle into the routine. But most of all...YAY for Chebber getting a job!
ReplyDeleteI can fully relate. My bf works midnights (12-8:30) and his shift is 4 days on 4 days off. So while he does have some weekends off, it's really only about 3 of every 8 weekends. And on the days when he is working he's really only home and awake for about 2-3 hours. Don't worry, though. You guys will be able to adapt so that you make the best of the time you have together. It will get easier.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. I totally get it. I know there are pros, but it's okay to be bummed out about the cons. You will adjust because you have to, but obviously it's not ideal. It is wonderful that he is feeling good about landing the job.
ReplyDeleteI understand completely... my hubs had that issue when I was working. Now I see him too much! haha... no but it will get better once you get into routine. Promise!
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