You see, there is a whole lot of self-worth tied up in this old body of mine. I know it's "wrong" or "silly," but there it is.
The first pair of capris - a pair I wore last year, that do fit better this year considering I'm carrying a few pounds and inches less - made me contort my face into a picture of horror as I looked at the "love" (HA!) handles spilling out over the top of the waist band. Quite frankly, I can't believe I squeezed myself into them last year: I know I was uncomfortable. The first shirt clung around my midsection. The second shirt has slightly shorter sleeves than I generally wear and showcased my ham hock upper arms to perfection. I'm now wearing pretty much what I've worn the last two Saturdays in a row: beige-ish capris and a black top (that probably makes me look like I'm pregnant based on the cut). Even though I'm now more physically comfortable than when I started, the feeling of disgust lingers and I feel awful mentally.
When I have a Bad Body Day, nothing goes "right": my hair is a frizzy mess that won't behave; the dark circles under my eyes look like neon flashing signs; my pores look big enough to go spelunking in. I'm caught between wanting to cry, being pissy, and being utterly disappointed in myself. And unfortunately, a Bad Body Day does NOT translate into exercise and healthy eating for me: on a day like today, I feel so down and depressed, all I want to do is self-sabotage by sitting on my ass feeling sorry for myself with a bag of Cheetos (and anything else junk food-y I can get my hands on).
It will go away. It always does. It's just fighting through it while it's happening.
Do you have Bad Body Days? How do you get through them?
Ah shit. I have days like that, it blows.
ReplyDeleteUsually I just settle for sweats and try to avoid mirrors... OR, sometimes dressing up in something that I know DOES look good - even if it's a dress or something - cuz if I look hot I feel a little better.
Pretty much every day is a Bad Body Day for me. I am ALWAYS pissed at my body. ugh
ReplyDeleteAwwww jeez- more often than not, I have bad body days. I have a closet full of clothes that are "pre-baby" and i refuse to get rid of them. I just live in big "flowy" outfits.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, on bad days I will eat a bunch of powdered donuts. Sometimes I will take a bath. And sometimes I will shake it off and bury my face in a big ass salad.
It's a crap shoot.
Bad body days? Oh hell yes. Sometimes you just have to ride it out and recognize WHY you're feeling that way. Usually I do when I am tired or my allergies are causing fatigue and I am cranky.
ReplyDeleteI do recommend, if your budget allows, going out and buying a couple of go-to outfits that fit and make you feel pretty (shop on a good day with a friend). Pull those out on days like this and remind yourself that this too shall pass.
Aw.. sorry to hear yuo had one of those days. Hopefully you are feeling better now! We all have them. Little comfort I know but true nonetheless. Sometimes I think it's ok to just feel sorry for ourselves for a day.. to pamper and treat ourselves a bit, yes even with food, but just for that day. It's when we let it become a week, or month that the trouble starts! Mainly on days like that I throw myself into doing something that will not involve mirrors or going out where I feel I need to look good. Cleaning out a really messy room for example. Not great fun but it focuses my mind and all that negative energy on something else and at the end I may even have achieved something and so feel more in control and a bit better about myself too.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone has bad body days, I know I do. When I lived closer to a city centre in England I would go to town and buy something that made me feel pretty (be it clothes [not often because on those days nothing feels good], or make-up etc), staying in the house stewing over it just made me a) feel worse, and b) more likely to binge, which would make me feel worse.
ReplyDeleteI definitely have bad body days. And I actually handle it exactly the same way you do. I don't want to exercise because I'd much rather sit on my lard ass in front of the TV eating a tub of Ben & Jerry's. Then the next day when I wake up I instantly regret my decisions.
ReplyDeleteI have days like this and I often react the same way you do. I eat all the wrong things and think "I look awful now what does it matter?"
ReplyDeleteAs for what I do, well I try my best to turn all that negative energy into workout energy. It's hard, I don't always succeed but it's worth a shot. Other than that I make a list of the things I'm happy with myself about. It's hard because like you said on days like this every.single.little.thing. about me is something I hate.
I have bad body days. Bad face days. Bad feet days. Bad voice days, shit, some days I wake up and am all, "Hmmm, what will I loathe today?" It's stupid and often untrue. Even though if you said it to me in the moment I'd knife you, the truth is, movement relieves it. Get out of where you are, make your body move, force yourself to concentrate on not falling down. Focusing on image never gets anyone anywhere! Mmmmwaaah!
ReplyDeleteI've found that the more weight I lose, the more aware of my body I am. And being aware means I am more critical of it. We've got to do a better job of just loving what we have while we have it.
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