Last week was... mixed. I worked out five times (yay!), but I struggled with food and how much/often I was eating (boo). I was either just barely under my calories or over (per LoseIt) all. week. long. As I mentioned on Friday, there are a couple of factors that could be contributing to the Always Hungry, but who knows?
I have the appointment with Dr. GP this afternoon - I think: I already told my conscience (you know who you are ;) ) that I'll go as long as Dr. GP is in, but that if Dr. Substitute is in, I'm cancelling the appointment. I feel a little silly simply because I've felt quite a bit better the past few days. That being said, I felt that way in the beginning with the depression, too. As well, Boss #3 (the one who backs me up on the phones if I'm not here) is on holidays starting tomorrow, so I won't be able to leave early until the week of the 15th. I figure just checking in with her isn't a BAD idea.
I also had to reschedule my (second) appointment with mental health. It was supposed to be next Wednesday, but something came up at work that requires me to be here that afternoon, so I had to rebook. The next appointment is December 1st, which is a ways away, but I'm okay with that, because I'm still (yes, still) paranoid about taking *too* much time off work - if the appointment hadn't changed, I'd be leaving early three times in three weeks (I go back to Dr. Asshat on the 16th for the results of the follow-up CA-125 blood work). I'm thinking I may have to see if there are any therapists that offer evening appointments, go through Chebbars work benefits, and take my chances that they're not cancelled before I'm HEALED! (Totes being sarcastic there, in case you're new or something. Heh) It just adds to my stress trying to schedule appointments that are going to disrupt my work day for who knows how long, and Ceiling Cat knows I don't need MORE stress in my life.
Still no sign of Aunt Flo. I'm contemplating going back to monthly periods (after I see how this week goes) just because I'm not a huge fan of having NO CLUE what my body is up to and/or what to expect from said body. Control Freak Chibi doesn't like it. At the same time, no periods for nine weeks? Kiiiiind of awesome. I don't know.
Here's to a good week! The sun is shining, so I'm smiling! :)
I get your paranoia about taking time off work. I would be nervous about that too. Of course, I work in a government job where you can do just about anything you want and never get fired.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are following up with your doctors/asshats. Also glad you are feeling a little better. My inner control freak would be freaking out about the whole missed period thing. It does sound kind a nice though...nine weeks! I could maybe handle that. :)
That IS a mixed bag, wow! On the upside, exercising and eating mostly on plan is the way to win the weight battle, bar none. But the mental health issues and hormonal (possibly?) issues involving your period are worrisome. I am glad you aren't feeling so 'off' anymore, and only you can evaluate whether or not you'd benefit more by canceling (so you don't have to deal with the time off work) or going (so you don't crack from stress). Maybe wait it out for another few days and see how you are feeling? It you still don't feel completely normal, suck it up and keep the appointment, but if things are pretty much tolerable or improved then take that as a sign that you don't need any active intervention right now and can cancel the appointment without issue.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I'd do, anyway :)
I hate how stress effects us all. When I was going to a therapist I was always stressed about the time I'd need to take off work (mostly leaving early) to get to my appointments. Add in the stress of how much it cost even when I did have insurance I was a mess. Mostly I was feeling guilty.
ReplyDeleteAs for the missing period thing I definitely feel you. I'm on month 3 of not having mine because I stopped doing the week off of my patch. My dr says it's OK to do, but the control factor still has me freaked. I was tempted this week to take a left over pregnancy test just for peace of mind.
I totally get the guilt part of missing work. When I was doing p/t and had to leave for a while during my shifts to do, I felt *awful*. It's hard to do the things that help you get better when it causes stress and guilt to do them. I mean you'd think that the hard part would be opening up to needed the help and after that it'd be easy. I'm sorry that you have so much on your plate right now.
ReplyDelete