Whiner McWaawaahpants

I'm cranky.

I'm frustrated.

I'm annoyed.

I'm angry.

I'm pissed off at the WHOLE WORLD.

I don't know why - there appears to be no reason.

My relationship is fine.

Our finances are fine.

Work is fine.

My family is fine.

Maybe "fine" is the problem?  Maybe everything's just too...  I don't even know.

*     *     *

To be fair, if I stop and think about it, my relationship is fine now.  A few weeks ago it wasn't: a few weeks ago it was almost over.  The trust issues are deep-seated.  The lying and hiding may always be a concern.  The doubt lingers.  And that?  Stressful.

To be fair, our finances are fine because I'm playing ostrich and burying my head in the sand.  We've purchased two sets of snow tires in the course of a week on top of a lot of other indiscriminate spending that I've chosen to not tally because I'm scared to see how much we've spent - how big of a dent we're going to have to put in our (up until now) pretty fucking awesome savings account.  And that?  Stressful.

To be fair, work is fine, but I'm more annoyed there than anywhere else.  There's no specific thing or task or person involved: I think maybe it's just that this is where I spend the majority of my time?  Still: knowing I'll likely end up pissy and annoyed at SOME point during my work day?  Stressful.

To be fair, my family is fine, sort of.  My sister is... all sort of jacked up after her most recent health episode and the subsequent fall-out.  I'm worried about... well, all of it.  My best friends (read: family by choice) are moving at the end of December (like, far, far away) and I'm TOTALLY not dealing with that AT ALL (not thinking about it means it's not going to happen!  100% denial, folks).  And that?  Stressful.

I basically "quit" therapy after one freaking session, NOT because the therapist didn't seem like a good fit or because I don't think I need it - quite the opposite: I think I would benefit IMMENSELY from therapy - but because I just cannot commit to that much time off work.  And that?  Stressful AND guilt-inducing (a winning combination).

My back has been killing me since Friday night.  Massage therapy did NOT help on Saturday (nor did the six hours of errands I ran afterward), and the day of walking Sunday probably wasn't great, either.  I'm so tired of feeling like I'm 97.

I'm still not working out.  My diet is still shitty (although, after a week's "vacation," I started tracking on Lose It again yesterday morning).  I'm torn between just fucking FORCING myself to get off my ass and DOING it, and waiting to see Dr. GP because my moods seem to be fluctuating rapidly between "Yeah!  I can totally do this!" and "OMG.  I have absolutely. no. energy. (never mind desire) to do ANYTHING.  Again.  For crying out loud."  I know exercise will help me at least a little - I know.  But when it feels like it takes eve.ry.thing. in you just to keep your shit together and not lose your freaking mind on everyone who crosses your path?  That shit is exhausting, yo.  I'M creating this stress, folks.

*     *     *

The relationship/trust/lying issues can, will, and are being worked on.

Our finances are FINE.  All we have to do is tighten our belts again and our savings account will be back to where it was in no time (okay, maybe AFTER Christmas, but still).  And we kinda need the snow tires so we can to work so we can make the money to put in savings.

Work is work - it's a necessary evil.  And I know that deep down, it's an attitude issue on MY part: I didn't wake up all of a sudden hating my job.

My sister will find her own way.  She's going to have to.  She's supposedly a grown up, and it's up to her to start behaving like one.

Out-of-province friends just means a reason to travel (and meet up up with other friends, right @princessjenn? ;) ).  And it's not like they'll never come back here to visit.  Things will just be... different.

I fully intend on trying to find a therapist who offers "after hours" appointments once we get more guidance as to what is covered by Chebbar's employer.

I've got a call in to the physio place, so hopefully I can get some guidance in that area for my back soon.

The diet/exercise thing will come (back).  As @pgoodness told me last week, one thing at a time: I need to tackle one aspect of my health and get a good handle on it before moving on to the next one.  (It's just hard for the rampant perfectionist in me when I start with the "shoulds" and "neeeeeds.")

Things will get better: I know that.  It's just sometimes hard to remember - hell, to BELIEVE - when you're stuck in a hole.  I hate holes.  I'mma ask Santa for a whole lot of cement for Christmas.

I have to say that I am ever so grateful to each and every person who takes the time out of his or her busy day to offer kind words, support, and friendship: I honestly don't know what I'd do without all of you.

The Jeebs's Big Day Out

Yesterday we drove our little car (now complete with Six! Hundred! Dollar! SURPRIIIIISE! Snow Tires!) all to a Sky Train station in a far away land and rode that choo-choo to down town Vancouver.  There we walked half a dozen blocks to the Queen Elizabeth Theatre where we thought we'd be seeing the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra perform a Lord of the Rings Symphony.  (I was also super-jazzed because the Vancouver Christmas Market - originally delayed from opening due to an explosion/fire on opening day and not set to open until after our Big City Visit - was slated to open right next door to the QET.)

So!  We walked from the Sky Train station down to the Queen E and noticed the box office was still closed, despite notices stating that it would open two hours before performances.  Weird: it's already 1pm...  We decided to go grab lunch (Fatburger for the first time: HOLY MONSTROUS BURGERS, BATMAN!  O_O  They were good - and fast! - though.) to kill some time.  When we got back to the Queen E at 1:40pm, the box office *still* wasn't open.  "Are you sure we're supposed to pick the tickets up at the box office?" enquired Chebbar.  "Yes!" I declared, confidently, as I whipped out the print-out and showed it to him.  "Uh, honey?  This says it's at The Orpheum... "  "WHAT?!?  D:  "

Yeah.  I have NO IDEA how the hell I missed the fact that it was at a completely different theater - NO CLUE! And here we are, down town Vancouver with nary a smart phone between us and no way to figure out WHERE The Orpheum is, never mind how far away we are (country bumpkin tourists much?).  (And yes, I *know* we could have ASKED someone, but apparently we were both sharing the same non-direction-asking-man-brain.)  Luckily for us, a friend WITH a smart phone was also attending the symphony and he was able to tell us that we were mere blocks from the locale.  BLOCKS!

With 15 minutes to spare, we started speed walking in the correct direction.  Unfortunately, said (*cough*male*cough*) friend is also directionally challenged and had advised us to go LEFT when we should have gone RIGHT.  When we realized our mistake (now with 7-ish minutes to spare), we started hot-footing it the correct way.  Except have I mentioned I'm having some sort of BS "asthmatic reaction" to my now-defunct sinus infection?  Yeah, expensive puffer (that I'm only supposed to use morning and night, so it was at home) and all.  Needless to say, that coupled with the cold temperature was making it vereee, vereee difficult for poor little Chibi to breathe, scaring the pants off of poor little Chebbar (not literally: don't worry).

Guess what?  We made it there, picked up our tickets, found our seats, and flopped gratefully down with seconds to spare.  SECONDS!  Of course, we were both huffing and puffing like we were going to have heart attacks at any moment, but that's beside the point: obviously we were meant to see this production (and not waste a large amount of money ONE MONTH BEFORE CHRISTMAS).  Performance was wonderful!  The Orpheum is beautiful!  Hooray!  We then walked back up to the Queen E and the Christmas Market, where I bounced around like a child on Christmas morning while we stood in line...

...yeah, not quite what I had expected.  There were tons of food and drink stalls, a stage in the center for the traditional German dancers, a craft section for the kiddies, and a handful of booths of vendors selling their wares (there was also a sizeable tent filled with what looked like Christmas tree ornaments, but the line up was large and I was disappointed (and therefore cranky).  We ended up leaving within about 10 minutes.  :-s (My parents are supposed to go in the next week or two: I'm not sure whether to warn them, or let them form their own opinions.  *meep!*)

We took the Sky Train back to where we had left our trusty little chariot and went to East Side Mario's for dinner (seriously, if there's one near-ish you and you appreciate Italian cuisine and/or you're not a hater of humanity, you MUST go at least once - everyone who has gone on our recommendation has LOVED it.  Bottomless soup or (Caesar!) salad!  Never-ending fresh garlic loaf!  Cheesy "Italian" decor!).  We even got dessert to go.

Awesome day.  Just awesome (even with the almost losts and wannabe asthma attacks and killer backaches from hell).  Very happy Jeebseseseses.  :)

This one is @theamberness's fault...

@theamberness was posting links on Twitter the other night and I fell in love with LanaOCrystal's Etsy shop.  I'm really stuck on necklaces lately, which is odd (and rather silly) considering I only ever wear the one Chebbar gave me for Valentine's day a couple years ago.  But that doesn't mean a girl can't look, right?  :)

Leafy Lariat Necklace  $24

I like lariat necklaces: they're like bolo ties for fancy ladies.  (Although I did have visions of leaning over and impaling myself with the point of the bottom leaf... )

Dandelion Necklace  $18

SUPER-love this - it's #1 on my LanaOCrystal wishlist.

Genuine Turquoise Bird Lariat  $28.50

Really digging the leafy branch/bird combo.

Lovely Mod Birds Necklace  $19.50

Aww, look!  The tweety birds are smoochin'!

Orchid Flowers Necklace  $24

If I am not mistaken, I have either posted this necklace before, or one very similar to it (which means I must really like it, right?).

Broken

I'm frustrated, but I don't know why.

I'm angry, but I don't know why.

I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat, but I don't know why.

I feel like I'm slipping back into Don't-Give-a-Fuckville.

I'm scared that THIS is my new "normal."

I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

I'm returning I've returned to my old self-destructive tendencies with my diet and (lack of) exercise, except this time I don't really seem to care.

I feel broken again.






(I called to make an appointment with my doctor, but the soonest I can get in is December 7th.  I'll be okay, mostly because now I know I only have 12 more days to get through, which is a little more comforting than the nebulous "I need to make another appointment"...   I may need more Ativan at the end of those 12 days, but I'll be okay in the meantime, I promise.)

What's in YOUR wallet?

Yeah, yeah, yeah: this isn't a Capital One plug - I've been up since 3am with a brain-liquefying headache, so witty just isn't on the agenda today.  The awesome Velocibadgergirl played What's In Your Bag on Monday (I just saw the link today - I'm slow! Sue me!), so I thought I'd play along mostly because I'm a nosy emeffer and like to see what kind of weird stuff people lug around with them because it sounded like fun.

My purse (read: suitcase)

 Contents: The First

1. Handy, dandy zip-up reusable shopping bag from Target (best $0.99 I've spent in a LONG time: I noticed it was missing from my purse on Saturday and damn near hyperventilated - I was in full-on Passport Obtaining Planning Mode so we could cross the border in order for me to go back to Target for a replacement when I found it.  YES, I LOVE IT THAT MUCH.).
2. Beloved iPod Touch.  I would wither away and die without it.
3. Piece O'Shit phone
4. Glasses case
5. Supah Fancy Gloves
6. My favouritest pen ever (it only lives in my purse so no one "borrows" it and "accidentally" keeps it)
7. Daytimer (since I keep track of my crap electronically via Google Calender and the handy, dandy app on my iPod, this has turned into my Gripe & Gratitude journal: every day I take a few minutes to write down anything that's bothering or upsetting me - once it's been written down, I'm DONE with it; to counteract the (potential) negativity, I write five things I'm grateful for on the same page).
8. Hard-case flippy-open thingy notepad with pen
9. Note book
10. Rimmel Vinyl Gloss (I think the colour is called "Snog"?  It's quite flattering!)
11. My huge-ass wallet
12. Make-up bag full of other various items because the purse doesn't have a zippered pocket (lamesauce)
13. Imodium
14. Chlor-Tripolon
15. Gas-X (damn, I'm sexy!)
16. Vaseline Intensive Care Healthy Hand & Nail lotion
17. Opti-Free contact lens solution
18. Kleenex
19. Gum

Contents: The Second - The Blue Pouch

  20.  Bandage

  21.  Mirror

  22.  Calculator (rarely used between iPod and cell phone)

  23.  Mystery Pouch!  (Okay, fiiiiine: 5 tampons and a panty liner.  Sorry you asked?)

  24.  Moist wipes for, uh, yeah...  (Let's just say these have been in my purse for "emergencies": they go hand-in-hand with items 13 and 15)

  25.  Nail file

  26.  Eye protectors

  27.  Eye glass cleaner thingy (this came from a Christmas cracker and has never been used)

  28.  Clean & Clear shine reducing sheets

  29.  Hair elastic

  30.  Contact lens case

  31.  Bottle O'Magic (Advil Migraine, Tylenol Sinus, Gravol, Benedryl, Midol)

  32.  Aveeno lip balm

  33.  Emergency lighter

  34.  Thumb drive

  35.  Spare contact lenses

  36.  Ativan

  37.  Tiger Balm (Mama's Magic Headache Helper)

  38.  Hand sanitizer

  39.  Bach's Rescue Remedy

  40.  Blink eye drops

  41.  Dental floss 

Holy CRAP!  Little bloody wonder my back aches, hey?  Ha!  So, what's in YOUR purse?  If you post, don't forget to go to Velocibadgergirl's blog post to link up!

This Is Why I Love You: Reason #30

#30:  You love me, no matter what, even/especially when I don’t love myself.




Explanation here.

The insidiousness of one-upmanship

It used to be that one-upmanship was a matter of showing people you were better/faster/stronger than they were - your trophy bigger, your blue ribbon bluer.  Somewhere along the line, there seems to have been a shift in thinking: now it seems to be a case of one-downmanship.  People can't wait to tell you how much harder and worse off than you they are.  No one, no where, and nothing is safe.

Tweet about it being cold outside?
"Oh, yeah?  Well, it's negative eleventy-seven HERE, and that's not counting wind chill!"

Post to facebook that your grandma passed away?
"I know how you feel.  My aunt's neighbour's cousin's forty-three-year old parakeet died yesterday, too.  *sad face*  "

And heaven FORBID you make the mistake of complaining about being sick, sad, tired, or any other physical malady, for (almost) everyone and their dog will tell you how much worse off they are!

(Obviously this isn't the case 100% of the time: I've had the pleasure of "meeting" some amazingly supportive people online.)

Don't get me wrong: I do my level best to not buy into the Hierarchy of Suffering* (excellent, amazing, AWESOME post by Megan of Velveteen Mind: please click through and read!).  We all have bad days.  We all need to vent at times.  We all need to feel... heard, like someone actually gives a damn - it's why we continue to participate in the interwebz: for the connection.


What ever happened to compassion?  To empathy?  To understanding?  To commiserating instead of trying to one-up (or one-down) someone?  To simply saying "I'm sorry you're having a bad day/week/month/year and I hope it gets better soon"?  To "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"?  To the Golden Rule and treating people the way we'd like to be treated?  Has it gotten so hard to look past the end of our own narcissistic, self-involved noses that we're incapable of recognizing that someone we claim to view as a friend is having a rough time and is in need of support without needing to talk about ourselves?

The next time you get the urge to one-down someone, stop for half a second and ask yourself how you'd feel if the tables were turned.  If you can, say something supportive and leave it at that: if you can't do that, say nothing at all - just move along.  If you see a one-downer in action, maybe say something supportive to counter-balance the one-downer.

Not everything in life has to be a competition: don't let human interaction become one of those things.



*Edited to add: I feel the need to clarify the statement up there.  When I said I do my best not to buy into the Hierarchy of Suffering, I meant personally - I never think in those terms where others are concerned because who the hell am I to judge what you're going through?  I'm not you: I haven't walked in your shoes.  However, I am bad at succumbing to the whole "I shouldn't be upset about this because so many people have it so much worse."  So, uh, yeah.  I don't know if anyone took it that way, but I just wanted to be clear that (yet again) it's a matter of being nasty to myself, not others.

Scrubbing Bubbles: Extend-A-Clean

I have a new review post up on my other blog!

Scrubbing Bubbles: Extend-A-Clean

Wow.  Normally I'm neither excited nor impressed by cleaning products because, well, cleaning isn't exactly my favourite pastime.  However.

Source.

Scrubbing Bubbles Extend-A-Clean is amazing.  No, really!  The bottle has a battery-operated sprayer that allows a continuous spray - no pumping required.  You spray it on, let it sit for a few minutes, wipe with a cloth or sponge, and rinse: the special formula forms a flat, even film that keeps dirt and soap scum from sticking to the surface of your tub (it can also be used on sinks, tiles, and counters).  Over time, it will fight soap scum for up to four days with just one use.

I  used it this morning on the shower that I haven't cleaned a couple a few four weeks ( my back was out, so I haven't scrubbed the tub in awhile!), so I sprayed it on every surface of my tub - tiles, faucet, everything - and cleaned the rest of the bathroom and the ensuite, letting it sit for a good 20 minutes.  When I came back armed with my trusty sponge, I was ready to scrub the crap out of the tub.

Not necessary!

I was surprised and skeptical at how easily the tiles and tub cleaned up.  Even when I've cleaned the tub the week before, enough soap scum has accumulated in the bottom of the tub that I have to give it a fair bit of elbow grease to feel that scum disappear.  Scrubbing Bubbles Extend-A-Clean alleviated that need completely (and considering I was just discussing how being bent over the edge of the tub and twisting/turning to get it clean buggers my back, this is a HUGE plus for me).  And my 30-year old, butt-ugly faucet?  SHINIEST I'VE EVER SEEN IT.  I'm so impressed, I actually flipped back the shower curtain to admire my effortlessly-shiny shower the last time I was in the washroom!

The bottle does state that the product should be used in a well-ventilated room; after spraying it and hanging out in there while I cleaned the rest of the bathroom, I was actually thinking that I wouldn't use it again in my windowless bathroom - the smell is close to overwhelming.  However, if you had a window in your bathroom (or flipped on the fan!), I'm sure it would be fine.  As it stands, the results are worth the smell for me.

The battery aspect isn't the greatest for the entire "green" movement, but Scrubbing Bubbles does make a refill bottle, so you reuse the battery-containing trigger (you can also use it on their Scrubbing Bubbles Daily Shower Cleaner if desired, as the Extend-A-Clean is mean more for the occasional, deep-clean).

All in all, especially as a chore-hating procrastinator, I am really impressed with this product and would most certainly use it again.  It definitely made clean-up easier - and therefore more enjoyable - for me!



This is not a paid review; however, I did receive a sample of this product through my BzzAgent account.

Holiday cards! Are you ready?!? (50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly)

I'm crafty.  Sort of.  And by "crafty" I mean arts-and-crafts, not "skillful in underhanded or evil schemes; cunning; deceitful; sly."  Oh, wait...  hehe

I make greeting cards.  Well, sometimes - when I can be bothered to drag out alllll of my craft supplies (and feel up to the monumental task of clean up).  Unfortunately for the past couple of years, I've felt completely overwhelmed by the sheer volume of cards I'd need to make for the holidays; as such, we sent out NONE two years ago, and store-bought cards last year.  Who needs the added stress?

If I'm not going to make them myself, why not make them with the help of Shutterfly?  They have some amazing products...

"With Love" Chartreuse 5x7 Folding Card  (From $1.04 each)

I love the mosaic concept, the modern colour scheme, and the fact that you could use these as New Year cards if you procrastinate like me and get your Christmas cards out late.

Berry Branch Address Label  (Sale: 28-count for $7.99)

I actually fell in love with these address labels last Christmas and have literally been thinking about them all year.  The "festive" colours aren't so obvious that you couldn't use them year-round, and the clean design makes them very attractive.

Smiling Snowman Invitation  (From $0.62 each)

I'm a big kid at heart, so I adore the playful snowman on these invites!

Wall Calendars  (Sale: $15.39)

Whether for yourself or as a gift, who could pass up a calendar full of favourite snapshots?  And the personalized dates?  AWESOME.  I get hand cramps writing everybody's birthday on a new calendar every year!

Shutterfly also has a great selection of personalized photo gifts - there's something for everyone, I swear.  I could probably do all of my Christmas shopping in this section alone!  Well, if I took (better) pictures, that is...

Shutterfly has some great sales on right now and offers promotions all the time.  And they're offering bloggers 50 free holiday cards!  Just go to this link and fill out the form - easy peasy!

Lost: Motivation

I have a new post up at No More Muffintop.

A very geeky Christmas

I've written about Think Geek numerous times, mostly because my love for their geekery never wanes (my wishlist? apparently totals OVER $1,100.00! O_O).  In particular, I've coveted the LOLMagnetz for aaaaages, but never ordered because their shipping was a little high (I noticed today that they're offering two different shipping options and one isn't *quite* as expensive).  Today, I got an email that, combined with my beloved magnets, is making me reconsider those shipping fees...

TannenBomb Prank Holiday Ornament  $11.99

This little red and silver beauty is adorned with bloodthirsty zombies and robots.  The real beauty?  This sucker is a holiday version of Think Geek's Anoy-a-Tron: it randomly emits beeps, mosquito buzzing, cricket chirps, and elf-laughing (that could get creepy if you're home all alone).  I cackled far too evilly when I started thinking about alllll the Christmas trees I could "gift" with one of these ornaments this year...  mua ha haaa

Book Vault  $34.99

I've wanted something like this since I was a kid - love it!

4" Fuzzy Ninja Domo  $12.99

I have a... thing for Domo.  Of course, I can't find one up here since we don't have Target.  *sad panda*  Think Geek is the only place that carries Domo in black.

Mario Bros. 2" Action Figures (6-pack)  $19.99

I think the only way these could be better is if Mushroom was part of the group... 

...I may have to place a "Christmas" order.  hehe

Cancer-free is me!

I saw Dr. Asshat yesterday (I damn near DIDN'T: dummy me went to the wrong freaking building; luckily his building was right around the corner, but I think I got to my appointment with mere seconds to spare).  My CA-125 level went from 35 (high end of normal) down to 16, which had him declaring that he was "not worried" about ovarian cancer.

He did say that my initial score concerned him and admitted he didn't understand a score that high in someone as young/healthy/with no family history as me.  I mentioned that my aunt had read an article that said the presence of ovarian cysts at the time of this blood work could skew results: he said she was exactly right.  I explained that I had a sizeable cyst (which he should/would have known had he taken the time to review my file at my initial visit) on one ovary in February, and another on the other ovary in March, so it was entirely possible I had one in April, too.  He said I was fine and said he wanted to see me once more in April for a follow-up, but otherwise I didn't have to see him anymore.

He did ask how I was feeling and how I was doing with the "other issue" (the symptoms that brought me there in the first place).  It was a little hard to eat crow, but I admitted that his initial diagnosis was correct and that a gastroenterologist had diagnosed me with IBS.  I told him that Dr. GP had me stacking my birth control pills; he asked what I was taking (Alesse) because apparently you can't stack *all* BCP's, but a lot of people don't know that.  He said that stacking them would also be helpful in lessening the possibility of cysts.  I also told him that I was taking a probiotic three times a day and he started quizzing me on the culture number, how it was working, the cost, where I got it from...  I was finding the questioning rather odd until he declared "I'll have to look for that next time we're at Costco!"  He was almost... nice!  O_O

So, yes.  I'm good in this regard.  :)

Dribs & Drabs

• It's raining.  As in steady, grey, drizzle.  Ew.  I'd almost rather snow.
• Speaking of: all this talk about what a baaaaad winter it's going to be and how! much! snow! we're supposed to get is starting to freak me out.  I think I need to buy chains for my car.  And put a change of clothes in the hatchback.
• I got a new pillow from my chiropractor.  It holds water.  It's fancy-pants.  I was advised NOT to let Chebbar use it, lest I never get it back.  (I'm guarding it with my life.)
• Speaking of: we have a plan for my wonktastic back.  I'm going for a couple of massage therapy sessions to loosen up the muscles, followed immediately by chiropractic adjustments.  Once my back is loosey-goosey enough, I'll go for a few physio appointments to learn the proper exercises I need to do to strengthen my back.  I'm excited (I've suffered with back pain for over 10 years) and nervous (I'm worried I'll be told a) there's nothing they can do to fix it, and/or b) I can't work out like I have been).
• Relatedly, physio is no longer covered by BC's medical plan.  Chebbar's extended benefits *might* cover it, but probably not much and/or not long: after six chiro visits, I've apparently already used up my yearly allowance.
• A week ago, I thought the bottom was falling out of my world and that life as I knew was going to be irrevocably changed (dramatic, non? TOTES JUSTIFIED).  A week later, things are... better.  Not entirely resolved, but on their way to resolved.  I'm 99% certain things can be worked out.
• I'm still hacking up a hoo, but at least now the hoos are all clear and no longer green.  Sorry 'bout the TMI.  #justsaynotomoreantibiotics
• I'm antsy for December 1st to roll around so I can drag out the Christmas gear.
• Speaking of: I picked up my Charlie Brown Christmas tree on Saturday!
• I see Dr. Asshat tomorrow for the repeat CA-125 test results.  I'm... kind of nervous?  A bit?
• I changed my Twitter name.  There was no drama or anything - I was just tired of being uncomfortable using mah own face (mostly).  If you missed it, you can email me or send me a message on facebook (see contact info and facebook badge on the left).  And yes, I did take down that post asking for input.  ;)
• I ordered a purse from Handbag Heaven that cost more than $30 (well, before the sale, anyhow).  The shipping?  Cost almost as much as the purse.  Ha!

What's new with you?

O Christmas Tree!

I received a newsletter from Ten Thousand Villages today full of holiday goodies.  (I've written about this site previously.)  The first thing that caught my eye was the Christmas tree ornaments: I started a tradition of buying one new ornament every year, and it's something that Chebbar has done with me since our first Christmas together.  (I usually write the year somewhere unobtrusive with a Sharpie marker.)  My mom does gorgeous, colour-coordinated trees; I go for a more... "eclectic" look (read: hodge podge of colours, themes, etc).

Here are few that caught my eye...

Mesh Bird Ornament  $8

Kinda reminds me of Twitter...  hehe

Copper Leaf Ornament  $9

Copper Tea Pot Ornament  $18

After talking about my tea cup collection yesterday, this one seems rather fitting.

Mirrored Red Ornament  $10

Beaded Wire Sphere Ornament  $14

LOVE this one.

Silver Snowflake Ornaments  $9.50

Smoked Capiz Snowflake  $12

Purple Capiz Star Ornament  $6

I like to give ornaments as hostess gifts, too: they are affordable and easy to tailor to your host's tastes.  (Plus?  It's kinda fun to shop for ornaments!)

Girl Talk Thursday: Collectibles

Do you collect things?  Not pack rat-type collecting, but actual collections of stuff?  I never really considered myself a collector of things (other than, say, paper work or dust or hair balls (what? I shed a lot, okay?)), mostly because my collections aren't something that I actively try to add to.  However, I do have two fairly sizeable collections, much to my surprise...

My first collection started as a single gift.  My Scottish Great Grannie had beautiful tea cups and saucers that she would bring out on special occasions.  When I graduated high school, she gave me a gorgeous black tea cup with pink flowers and this quirky little bird on it:

When her and Great Grandpa sold their condo to move into a retirement home, she gave me almost the rest of her collection (no two are alike), including three teapots:

(Sorry 'bout the crappy pictures: they're old... )

My great grandparents drank tea all day long: with breakfast, with lunch, at "tea time," with dinner, and before bed.  I can remember drinking "tea" as young as three-years old (1/4 weak tea and 3/4 milk in a little juice glass, but I always felt so grown up).  As we got older, she would occasionally pull out the special tea cups, which really was special.  Tea has grown to be very special to me simply because of its association with my great grandparents - most days it feels like there's nothing a good cup of tea can't fix.  

One of the things I loved about this apartment was that I knew I'd have space to properly display these beautiful hand-me-downs.  I've looked at other cup and saucer sets when we've been to garage sales or at antique fairs, but they just don't hold the same appeal for me: what makes these really special is that they were a treasured gift from my beloved great grandmother.  

And now that I've gotten all sentimental on you, we will move on to my next obsession!  Momiji dolls!  I've blogged about them on A Case of the Gimme-Gimmes, but suffice it to say that I saw one in a magazine, became overwhelmed with my NEEEEED for one (or a hundred), and searched far and wide until I found some.  (There are lots of websites that sell them, but either they don't ship to Canada, or shipping charges are triple the cost of the dolls.  I actually went to the trouble (this is kind of embarrassing) of calling around to various gift shops across the province, purchasing, and having them shipped to me.  Via telephone.  Yeah.)

I, um, bought twelve.  At once.  (And I'm NOT going to tell you how much they ended up costing me.  *hangs head in shame*)  Not exactly how one goes about building a collection...

  

Do you collect anything?  Do you do it the slow, rational way, or do you HAFTA HAVE 'EM ALL AT ONCE! like me?

Things That Can Just F*ck Right Off #37

#37:  Unrelated shit that makes me upset alllll over again and makes me want to scream and cry and hurt someone/thing - I *was* feeling a little better this morning.  Obviously I'm a little too sensitive today.  Back to my hole I go.  #denialismyfriend






Explanation

Tweet Your 16-Year Old Self

#tweetyour16yearoldself was a trending topic on Twitter today.  The more tweets that scrolled past me, the more love and appreciation I felt for the people who were playing along.  As I read more tweets, they inspired me to tweet myself.  The more I tweeted, the more I thought "hey, I could have a blog post here."  Here are some of my tweets to my 16-year old self:

• Your mother really DOES know best. One day you will realize - and be able to admit - this. ;)
• You will NOT be "less of a woman" if you choose not to have children.
• Those girls you think are your "friends"? They'll stab you in the back, but it won't matter, I swear.
• You're going to stop trusting: if you can't prevent it, at least try your best to figure out who is trustworthy.
• Anyone willing to walk out of your life likely isn't worth having in it in the first place. 
• Your life may end up looking a hell of a lot different from what you picture. Go with it: you will be happy & loved. 
• Your "father's" lack of interest is definitely his loss, not yours.
• Trust your gut. Trust YOURSELF.
• Be kind, gentle, and loving to yourself. You're going to end up your own worst enemy.
• YOU ARE *NOT* FAT!
• Your grandmother is a psychotic, manipulative witch. Your mother is not the enemy. Align yourself wisely.
• You aren't responsible for everyone. You don't have to control everything, or make everything better. Promise. 
• THAT boy won't break your spirit like the other one, but he will break your heart and make you gain about 40lbs... 
• Do not - I repeat DO NOT - take up with that boy. He'll mess you up but good.  
• Don't lose your Great Grannie's scone recipe, bonehead!
• DO NOT stay at that damned job for 10.5 years. It's going to eat your soul & suck the life right out of you.
• When you get a credit card, use it judiciously.
• You won't always be the girl with braces, glasses, and bad hair.
• It is NOT your responsibility to be the parent. You don't have to try to take care of EVERYONE forEVER.
• Yes, he DOES have to wear a condom. No, you DON'T have to have sex with him if he won't.
• DON'T OVER-PLUCK YOUR DAMNED EYEBROWS, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!
• Psst! You don't have "bad" hair: it's curly. Try styling products, dude!
• Don't take yourself so damned seriously. Lighten up a bit. :) 
• You are SO much stronger, better, amazing than you think (and, sadly, what you'll continue to think).
• Anyone willing to walk out of your life likely isn't worth having in it in the first place. 

What would you tweet your 16-year old self?  Link up!  I'd love to read your posts/tweets.

Things That Can Just F*ck Right Off #15

#15:  Trying to get the first tissue out of the box.



Explanation.

HYC: Week 44

Last week was... mixed.  I worked out five times (yay!), but I struggled with food and how much/often I was eating (boo).  I was either just barely under my calories or over (per LoseIt) all. week. long.  As I mentioned on Friday, there are a couple of factors that could be contributing to the Always Hungry, but who knows?

I have the appointment with Dr. GP this afternoon - I think: I already told my conscience (you know who you are ;) ) that I'll go as long as Dr. GP is in, but that if Dr. Substitute is in, I'm cancelling the appointment.  I feel a little silly simply because I've felt quite a bit better the past few days.  That being said, I felt that way in the beginning with the depression, too.  As well, Boss #3 (the one who backs me up on the phones if I'm not here) is on holidays starting tomorrow, so I won't be able to leave early until the week of the 15th.  I figure just checking in with her isn't a BAD idea.  

I also had to reschedule my (second) appointment with mental health.  It was supposed to be next Wednesday, but something came up at work that requires me to be here that afternoon, so I had to rebook.  The next appointment is December 1st, which is a ways away, but I'm okay with that, because I'm still (yes, still) paranoid about taking *too* much time off work - if the appointment hadn't changed, I'd be leaving early three times in three weeks (I go back to Dr. Asshat on the 16th for the results of the follow-up CA-125 blood work).  I'm thinking I may have to see if there are any therapists that offer evening appointments, go through Chebbars work benefits, and take my chances that they're not cancelled before I'm HEALED!  (Totes being sarcastic there, in case you're new or something.  Heh)  It just adds to my stress trying to schedule appointments that are going to disrupt my work day for who knows how long, and Ceiling Cat knows I don't need MORE stress in my life.

Still no sign of Aunt Flo.  I'm contemplating going back to monthly periods (after I see how this week goes) just because I'm not a huge fan of having NO CLUE what my body is up to and/or what to expect from said body.  Control Freak Chibi doesn't like it.  At the same time, no periods for nine weeks?  Kiiiiind of awesome.  I don't know.  

Here's to a good week!  The sun is shining, so I'm smiling!  :)