I was recently discussing the whole child-free thing with my friend Robin after she shared a blog post from Childfreedom. I've long been on the fence about whether or not I want children: while I can't say I'm a "kid hater," I'm also not dying to have one of my own; because I'm not 100% certain, it just doesn't seem wise to do something that I can't... take back, for lack of a better phrase. I sure as hell don't feel like any less of a
Calling me "selfish" for choosing not to have children? Screw you and the horse you rode in on. My choice to recognize my own limitations and fears and not take the chance of doing something that ultimately might make me unhappy in an irrevocable way is no more selfish than your choice to honour your desire to be a parent and have a child: if we wanted to be assholes like that, a valid argument could be made for both sides. As far as regretting not having children, Chebbar summed it up in a way that really clarified things for me when he said he'd rather live regretting NOT having children, than run the risk of potentially regretting having children. Who wants to saddle a child with that? And the whole "what are you going to do when you're old and alone?" thing is horse shit. There's no guarantee that your child is going to grow up to be a successful, productive member of society who will be more than happy to care for you in your old age: that's why you foster relationships with family, friends, and neighbours; get involved in community programs like Big Brothers or your church; and start planning for your damned retirement NOW.
Yet again, this is just another shining example of how people aren't happy unless they're tearing others down - of letting our insecurities about our shortcomings taint how we see, judge, and treat others. My decision to not have children is no more your concern than what I have for dinner or what I wear to bed: it is neither a condemnation of Gertrude's choice to have children, nor an attempt to poke fun at Irma's difficulties in conceiving. Quit being so damned narcissistic that MY choice about MY life that *I* have to life with is somehow twisted to be a reflection of you/your life/your choices. When you're willing to pitch in and help me raise these hypothetical children, you'll be MORE than welcome to offer your two cents. Until then, keep your asspinions to yourself.
Oh, and I reserve the right to change my mind, and if I do? That will have NOTHING to do with YOU either. ;)