Thursday, June 30, 2011

I have pissues

Okay, we've already established that I have a teeny, tiny bladder, right? For me, peeing is like yawning: I only have to think about it, and I hafta go. I still go before we leave the house, just like my mom taught me when I was wee (heh, see what I did there?); however, within half an hour, I'll have to go again.  I'm sure drinking over 100oz of liquid every day doesn't help, but still.

What's worse is being told I can't go. I remember my very first Provincial Exam: after being prepped by the teacher and being told that under no circumstances would we be allowed to leave the room within the first hour, I vowed not to drink ANYTHING before the test. And I didn't. I also went to the washroom before I left the house that morning AND immediately before entering the classroom. Unfortunately, just knowing I couldn't go again was enough to fill my bladder and make me squirm in my seat for approximately 57 looooong freaking minutes.

Which brings me to (one of) my biggest fear: being stuck on the highway.  There was a sizable mudslide in BC yesterday, shutting the highway and stranding motorists for hours, a virtual parking lot as far as the eye could see. Every time I pass a line of cars stopped on the other side of the road, I thank my lucky stars I'm going in the opposite direction because I know that if I were to be in that situation - even if I'd JUST gone pee two minutes prior - I'd immediately have to go again. And that need? Would intensify (painfully) the longer I waited - I think the anxiety of not knowing when I'll see the porcelain god again makes me have to go more.

Now, I know what you're thinking: dude, if you have to go THAT badly, drop trou and just go already! However, I'm Prudy McPruderson, Mayor of Prudeville, and the idea of baring my ass to a long line of strangers (who I'll then have to sit with for the next elebenty hours), makes me blush while crying. I do keep a roll of toilet paper in the glove box just in case, but I have to tell you how bloody grateful I am I've never had to use it. Yet. Knock on wood.

Do you have a similar fear, or am I alone in Weirdo McPrudypeeville? Pin It

7 comments:

  1. The worst for me is at night. If I wake up even slightly then I'd better go pee otherwise I'll sit there and think about it until I do :)

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  2. I'm a diabetic so I have to go all the time too. 24/7
    It's a pain.

    ReplyDelete
  3. KCL has the right idea.  Keep a Go Girl in your glove compartment.
    Don't want to drop trou on the side of the road?  Keep an empty pop/water bottle in the car and pee into that.  Worries solved.

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  4. Thursday's ChildJan 2, 2012 05:19 PM

    I have a thing where the moment I get close to my house (coming back from work or what have you) I have to go desperately, or when I'm at home and I'm on the way to the loo it get's urgent really fast.

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  5. You are not alone!  My thing is routine.  I have to pee as soon as I get up in
    the morning, when I get home from work in the evening and before I go to bed. 
    Even if I don't have to go.  My body tells me I do.  It's a marvel of (urinary)
    science!  And, believe you me, I have potty
    issues
    , so I can relate to not wanting to pee on the side of a (busy!)
    road.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have just the product for you: You Go Girl  (http://www.go-girl.com/)

    What I've noticed is that the closer I get to the toilet, the more I have to go. I am pretty good at holding it though...

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  7. I have the same problem. The worst for me is at night, if I let myself for even a second think about peeing then I have to get up and go. And then it takes me another 30 mins at least to go to sleep.

    ReplyDelete