Wednesday, July 6, 2011

[enter witty title here]

  • I feel like I've lost my funny. I'm deep in this whole body-acceptance/self-compassion thing, so it's all I can think about, which makes it all I can think to write about, but I don't particularly want to be one-note (at least, not in a I-dedicate-my-blog-to kind of way right now). 
  • There are so many things I want to do and see and try that I get overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of it all and just... stop. I end up completely paralyzed (mostly by the fear of failure). As the wise @VickiLikesFrogs said, if I never start/try, I can't fail, right? But that just depresses me and makes me feel like MORE of a failure. *sigh* Life is tough, yo.
  • People are funny. And, yes I mean that in a totally sarcastic, passive-aggressive way (much like the people who talk about how "lame" passive-aggressive people are, like they're not being passive-aggressive themselves).
  • Also? If you tell me to do something ("Smile!" or "Cheer up!" or "Stop using LOLcat speak!") I'm almost guarandamnteed to turn into a surly teenager and do the exact opposite of what you demand just to be a contrary little asshole. #justsayin
  • Chebbar has some kind of weird... nose... herpes? (He suffers from cold sores.) On Sunday, he had one pus-filled... thing on his nostril that he thought was a zit, so he popped it. When he woke up Monday morning, he had a CLUSTER of little, tiny, pus-filled... things on the outside AND inside of his nostril; yesterday, that nostril was visibly swollen (he looks like he got very neatly punched on only one side of his nose). To top it off, the gland on that side of his neck is a little swollen and hard. I want him to go to the walk-in clinic like, um, THREE DAYS AGO, and he's all "*shrug* We'll see." GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
  • I finally lost my resolve to just keep scrolling and got into it with someone on Pinterst today - surprisingly, it was NOT a th1nsp0 (sorry: don't want ANY links back to my blog on that topic) post, either. In fact, I kinda gave someone shit for being all "Zoh Em Eff Gee! Kate Middleton is SO GROSS because she's too skinny!" I wish people would realize that it's not their place or business to pass judgement on how others look, regardless if said "other" is in the public eye or not - that person still has feelings, for crying out loud. When are we going to learn that bodies are not objects to be judged, FFS?  Again, GRAAAAAAAAAAAAH, I say.
  • I grabbed Chebbar's lunch by mistake this morning. This was not a good thing, and resulted in me having to make a run to Timmy Ho's. Which has nothing to do with anything, but mmmmicecapp.
  • In case you hadn't noticed *snort*, I'm combative and pissy today. You can thank Aunt Flo for that.
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8 comments:

  1. Ahhh Cheebs. I loved you before...and as I'm catching up on the TWENTY EIGHT posts I had in my reader...I love you even more. Even though I've been horribly absent lately, I love "riding along" on your new journey in life & watching you FINALLY start to see things about yourself that the rest of us have known all along. I love you to the moon & back

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  2. Combative and pissy or no, I totally still love you. Besides, I like nothing better than good snark.

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  3. Can I just say that I read ALL of that. But can remember nothing but mmmmicecapp. It's been TOO long. :)

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  4. Oh trust me, you have not lost your funny. And it's funny you should say that in relation to the whole self-love-acceptance thing, because that's what *I* post a lot about and I am so not the funny one!!

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  5. Freaking nose herpes. I hate that crap. Hope he's better soon. Also, you, with the feeling better. Not from nose herpes, but you know...

    In high school there was this person who would always tell me to smile. Isn't that just a particularly awful kind of aggression?

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  6. I still think you're funny. And awesome. And super. I'm glad that you're working on you...you deserve to know and realise how awesome you are..and it makes me happy that you're going there. 

    I was JUST thinking about that today. When something gets overwhelming/too much/etc...instead of just trying anymore..I just...shut down. I just stop trying to hide into a deep hole. I don't want to fail, so I just don't try...and it's so stupid..and people must think I'm a giant failure for not even trying..but I just wanna hide from the world anyways..so I don't even know what to do anymore.

    Sigh. People are weird. We must be on the same wave length...because again..I was thinking about this today too. And about how some people claim to have so much compassion for others..but don't. And I know I get bitchy and complainy and grumpy and do the same thing..but I really want to stop. I *need* to stop. I need to act like how I do when I know I'm being watched - I need to smile, be friendly, be happy and have empathy - understand that when I see a person and they act a certain way or do a certain thing...I don't necessarily see the whole story, nor do they see mine...so me making assumptions about their life, their behaviour or different things...is just hard to do..because in the end..who knows what they're going through right now? Sigh. 

    Do what you need to do...don't worry about smiling and cheering up. Just be what you can, and do what you can..and eventually..we'll all get there. 

    Or we'll be 80, living in a nursing home, playing scrabble while eating applesauce and going DID YOU SEE WHAT DELORES DID AT BINGO THE OTHER NIGHT? while the other goes SPEAK UP, I CAN'T HEAR A DAMN THING YOU'RE SAYING.

    We'd be awesome at being old together. Definitely. 

    TIMMY HO'S ICECAP?! OMG I WANT SOOOOO MUCH. Okay. That's it. I'm going into town..sometime soon. And going nom nom nom while having a delicious, delicious iced cap. YUM.

    <333333333333

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  7. You are just freaking awesome. All. The. Way. If you forget I'll just keep reminding you. P.S. I'd totally share my chocolate with you.

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  8. We could get into a ginormous twitter fight about something incredibly stupid, if you like. #alsopissytoday

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