I had to call the police last night

For weeks, if not months (no exaggeration: this started whenever it was first warm enough to have the windows open), we've listened to a very angry woman in the apartment building next to ours scream and yell obscenities at the top of her lungs. Every once in awhile, we hear a male doing the same, so I assumed they were screaming at each other (even though Chebbar had told me he's watched a man in an... altered state(?) walk down the road just screaming the f-bomb over and over).

Last night, I heard her screaming again, and finally had enough: "HEY!" I yelled back, "You do realize we can ALL hear you, right?" She stopped. Briefly.

The next thing I heard made my blood run cold. As she screamed about how she'd "fucking had enough of [someone's] bullshit" and how this person had been "doing this all fucking day" and that she was going to "teach [this person] a fucking lesson," I could hear a terrified child barely able to hiccup out repeated apologies through his or her hysteric sobs (the child was young enough I couldn't tell if it was male or female - maybe 4 or 5?). She also sounded drunk because she was slurring her words something fierce, and I know how quickly an angry drunk can spiral out of control.

What the hell had I just done? Now the woman was pissed at being "caught" (even though she's never made any attempts to conceal her anger in the past) - would she take it out on the child? Would she continue to rage, but just close the windows so the whole neighbourhood didn't hear her?

I was sick to my stomach and ended up in tears. I knew what I should do - call the police - but wasn't sure I should bother. When I was 14 or so, Mom called the police about the neighbours behind us because of a very similar recurring incident. The police claimed it was up to CPS to take care of the situation and to call them; CPS did the exact same thing, telling Mom to call the police: no one did anything. When I was 18 and working retail, I witnessed a woman scream at her daughter, hold her up by the arm, and wallop the hell out of her over and over. I called the policed, who never showed up, even though I followed this woman through the store and witnessed her continue to scream at and beat her child. The reason the police didn't attend? Apparently I used the "wrong wording" so they didn't take it seriously (never did find out what the RIGHT way to word my concern would have been).

I did end up calling the police a few minutes later (after shakily posting to Twitter and having friends confirm what I already knew I needed to do). Within 15 minutes, a police officer returned my call. However, because this happens in another building and I've never SEEN anything - only heard it - I had no idea which unit it was coming from. The officer sat in the parking lot, listening, for 15 minutes before calling me back to apologize for not being able to hear anything. I told him that I realized this would likely be the outcome, but wanted to make sure there was a record of the complaint just in case... There's no way I would be able to live with myself if I ended up reading a story in the paper about the unthinkable happening.

During this time, a dear friend gently and kindly reminded me that I didn't know the whole situation: if this was a matter of a special needs child, there was a possibility that the woman was just at the end of her rope and unable to stifle her frustration any longer. I did appreciate the reminder and do realize that I have no clue how difficult it is to parent a special needs child. At the same time, though, the woman was clearly out of control and, considering we've been listening to this almost daily for far too long, clearly needs some sort of assistance - whether with respite care to give herself a break, or with anger management.

I know that I am neither a parent nor a special needs parent, but in my not-so-humble asspinion, there is NEVER an excuse to scream and yell and curse and threaten a CHILD relentlessly. You lose your cool every once in awhile? Fine. But every. single. day? No. Just no. (And judging by the scream-a-thons on weekends, this isn't just some bedtime issue: this goes on all day long.) After being educated by people like my dear friend, I do understand that we shouldn't be so quick to judge parents of children who appear to be "out of control" or bratty because there is a very good possibility that the child does have a developmental disorder and that it's not a matter of "bad" parenting. However, where do I draw the line? What about all the stories on the news about the child that was abused for years and no one stepped in or did anything?  For me, there's a HUGE difference between judging the parent of a "bratty" child without knowing the situation, and turning a blind eye to obvious verbal abuse because I don't want to get involved on the off-chance this is a special needs situation. Either way, special needs or not, there is no excuse to treat a child that way, period.

I don't know if it's my own past, my overly-sensitive and empathetic wimpy self, reading all the heartbreaking stories of abuse on Band Back Together, or what, but I do know that I couldn't just sit by and pretend I didn't know she was verbally abusing a child. I wouldn't be able to live with myself: for *me*, it would be as if I was somehow condoning her behaviour, and that's just not something I'm ever willing to do.