Stop comparing yourself to others

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Pick up any self-help book or read any article about self-improvement and you're guaranteed to be urged to stop playing the comparison game. You don't know the other person's story, they'll tell you. Everyone is perfect in her own, unique way, they'll say. This is good, valid advice. But what happens when your problem isn't so much comparison as judging others?

I've always been grateful that I've never found myself being jealous about what others have: I don't compare my car/home/job to those of my friends - I'm happy with exactly what I have. Except when it comes to my body. Sort of. I make no secret about the fact that I don't love my body or my self; I make no secret that loving myself is something I'm actively working on attaining. I do look at other women's bodies and feel slight pangs of... jealousy? want? admiration? but it's usually not born of comparing myself to them.

My shameful habit is that I judge other people (men and women, but mostly women). I cast a disparaging eye on hair, on makeup, on clothing - style, fit, etc. - on body shapes and sizes. That last one? Guts me. It embarrasses me to admit that I do this. 

Before you cast me aside as the judgemental asshole who judges, allow me to explain. I'm sure part of the problem is, subconsciously, a sad attempt to feel better about myself ("I'd never go out of the house looking like THAT! *gasp*"). However, the majority of what drives me to look at people so critically has far more to do with what I fear others are thinking about me. As unhealthy as I know it is, I spend far too much of my time worrying about what others think of me: it's a holdover from being the consummate people pleaser with inadequacy issues - I just want everyone to like me (which, even as I write it, looks so pathetic).

So what I'm attempting to do now, both to put an end to the asshole judging AND to turn some of that positivity toward myself, is to find one thing that is attractive or admirable about the person (including myself) I would otherwise judge. It's just as hard to find something positive about everyone as it is to change the way my brain works, mostly because I feel like I'm phoning it with things like "I like the colour of his shirt" or "She's wearing cute earrings." However, I'm going with an every-little-bit-helps mindset and hope that it will become second nature to find something positive right off the bat. 

Do you compare yourself to others? Do you judge others? How does it affect how you think/feel about yourself?