I want to work out, but I'm so bloody sore and exhausted by the time I get home, I give up before I even try. I've comforted myself with the fact that I only have 24 more days (17 more working days) until all freedom, all the time that will allow me to exercise whenever the hell I feel like it.
I have this overwhelming urge - NEEEEED - to eat ALLLLL the sugar. It's ridiculous. I don't like it. DIEUHBEATUS, Heather!
About the work thing: yeah. Starting to get the anxiety sads. Trying not to even THINK about the possibility of Chebbar not being hired on after his practicum. Reconciling myself to the mindset of his finding work being an ADVENTURE, especially if it means we have to move.
I'm emo-butt-hurt over a perceived slight (and the fear that I've somehow inadvertently pissed her off and this is my "punishment") upon learning Nick was given my parents' travel itinerary instead of me - y'know, the oldest RELIABLE child - for the first time ever.
Also muddling through feelings of... jealousy? being excluded? feeling left out? now that I'm the only one without a relationship with Bev and realizing that there is LOTS Mom holds back on telling me simply because it involves her. (Still not ready to contemplate opening that door, especially considering I haven't heard one peep about HER wanting to mend fences.)
I'm still scared poopless about this virtual assistant thing. I'm procrastinating even getting started (because not starting is a GREAT way to make sure it's impossible to fail). I think it would be better if I could get up and running before I leave here while I still have contact with such a large network, but I'd kind of given myself December as a grace period.
Chebbar has a sinus infection; he's been on antibiotics since Saturday, but still feels like shit. His practicum starts next Monday, so we're both hoping he feels better by then. Oh, also? He's on the same fracking antibiotics that made my step-dad think he was having a heart attack.
I've had pain in my elbows (chiro said the dreaded phrase: carpal tunnel syndrome) since October 16th; I buggered my knee doing yoga, so that's been bothering me since October 25th; and my left hip/ass cheek/saddle bag has been painful since October 30th-ish. I'm starting to worry it's something more than weight gain/inactivity/I'm getting old.
Oh Cheebs. You've said it yourself. You've been here before. Unlike most? You know what to do. You know how to handle things. I'm sorry that you have this knowledge, but you know what needs to happen. Take comfort in that. You will come through this just as successful as your other endeavors. Know this. Believe this. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHere's what I do when I feel like you do:
ReplyDeleteDeeeeeep belly breaths.
Unlock your posture...unscrunch your shoulders.
Soften your eyes.
More deeeeeeeep breaths.
Acknowledge reality.
Mobilize your best and understand that if you haven't taken done the first things on this list, you can't do your best.
So with you on a lot of those things. Re: starting your own business, though, I will say: do your research now and have a plan. I have this business thing that is falling in my lap and now I'm kind of scrambling to do things "right."
ReplyDeleteThinking about ya, girly. :)
Change is scary, yo.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sorry Chebbar has a sinus infection. My personal remedy involves copious amounts of whiskey.
It doesn't really cure you, but you'll forget you're miserable while imbibing. And you already have a headache from the sinus infection, so the hangover the next day is barely noticeable.
DIEUHBEEATUS...you totally need to go look at Erin's FB wall where I posted Happy Birthday from Wilford. Don't worry, I'll send him to you on yours... xoxoxo Love you.
ReplyDelete