Farewell to 2011

I'm joining Robin from Farewell, Stranger in her photo wrap-up of 2011, partially because it's a cool way to look back on the last year, and because I would *love* to take part in the Brave Girls Soul Restoration. I adore the Brave Girls. Let's take a look, shall we?

January

Near the end of January, Jenny The Bloggess published a post about "coming out" and speaking up about mental illness. I was inspired by her, and did the same (well, sort of: since I'm still not "out" as my blog persona to my family, my cartoonified picture had to suffice: it was still hard to slap all those labels on it, though).

February

February's dreariness contributed to some fairly roller coaster-like ups and downs for me in the self-esteem department, going from hating myself one day to trying to convince myself I was kind of okay the next. It was a rough month.

March

Chebbar started school - exciting! March gave us the first glimmers of hope that spring was going to arrive. We spent time walking down at the river, which was lovely - there's something about being outside that rejuvenates me. I can't say for sure because the picture wasn't dated, but we very well could have done this when I participated in the National Day of Unplugging: no technology of any kind for 24 for whole hours! It was daunting at first, but once I put my keener pants on and started to make a list of all the things I could do in that 24 hours, I began to get excited about my self-imposed exile. It was lovely. I need to do it again some time soon.

April

In April, I celebrated my birthday and tried to let go of an old hurt. I wrote it out, and when that wasn't enough, I burned that letter. It felt better than I should probably admit.

"Burn the Witch"

May

May was... rough. My estranged grandfather had a heart attack and was in ICU. The decision to go to the hospital was a difficult one, but ultimately one that needed to be made. In doing so, I learned some things about him AND myself. I was also able to forgive him (and begin the long process of forgiving myself - I'm still not quite there yet). 

Mid-month, I happened upon the scene of an accident and "helped" by assisting a man in lifting a Harley. As in, 800-lb motorcycle. My back was NOT happy with me. I spent a fair amount of time sitting on an ice pack on the couch with that adorable pup above beside me. 

June

Oh, June. You shook me up. Hard. But you taught me a lot, too. My grandfather passed away. I made the painful decision to skip his memorial service. I learned another truth that further solidified by choice to remain estranged from my grandmother. And I let go.

July

I got in touch with who I am in July. I used Wordle to create the cloud above of consisting of words friends used to describe me. While feeling a little embarrassed and a smidge ashamed (I was brought up on not tooting your own horn), it felt pretty darned good to see all those lovely, positive words and know that they were referring to ME.

I also shared how I practice gratitude every day, linked up to Schmutzie's "Where I'm From" meme, and crawled up on my soapbox to rant about the hierarchy of blogging.

 

"Where I'm From"

 

August

This is what happens when you finally realize and admit that you suffer from dermatillomania (skin picking) and try to do something about it (note: didn't work).

After reading Gretchen Rubin's book, I decided to start my own Happiness Project (note: it's working). 

The summer heat seemed to put people on edge. I had to call the police to report child abuse (update here).

And we went on a mini-road trip to visit family (can you spot the moon?).

September

September saw the end of my pretending everything was okay and walloped me upside the head with a resurgence of my depression. 

We saw Pearl Jam on their 20th Anniversary Tour (awesome!!!).

Band Back Together held an auction, to which I donated a set of handmade cards.

October

I saw my doctor about my depression; with a small tweak in antidepressants, I was back to feeling "normal" within a week or so - SUCH a relief.

I found out I was being laid off. A bunch of shitty stuff happened to my family. I did my best to look at the bright side of things. 

Oh, and we went to another small concert. You've probably never heard of them... THE FOO FIGHTERS!  :D

November

In November, I was thankful, strong (note: didn't work), rambly, and stressed out. Big time.

December

Ah, December. You, too, were rough. You brought crazy hormones that messed with my head and brought my self-loathing to an all-time low that lasted far longer than I was comfortable with. However, you also brought me some understanding, perspective, and peace; I think I'm walking away from 2011 with a different outlook and more awareness. 

It's been a bumpy year, but I definitely feel like I've learned and grown, so that makes me happy.