Sunday Sound-Off (with a bonus entry at the end!)

Shared it:

1. My very favouritest make-me-feel-good-about-myself blogger, Medicinal Marzipan, explains why you are worth the effort. Have I mentioned she's my favourite? I pink puffy heart love her.
2. The Bloggess explains why I am so open with my depression struggles (and also why I work as much as I do on Band Back Together) in her post "Wow."
3. Do you love yourself? I'm trying!
4. 10 journaling tips to help you heal, grow, and thrive via Tiny Buddha.
5. And for shits and giggles, check out Pinterest, You Are Drunk. heheheh

Appreciated it:

1. Hope
2. Motivation
3. Walking
4. Being here now
5. Chebbar <3

I've been working on the Hate-Loss Challenge since the first of the year. It involved writing out a list of positive and complimentary words that I am supposed to say out loud to myself at least once a day, as well as a list of negative or derogatory words that I'm not supposed to say about myself. I posted the list on the bathroom mirror so I could see it easily and often. I've been reading the positives to myself in the morning and before bed.

It hasn't been too difficult to read the positives, although it does feel a little cheesy and forced, especially considering I'm trying to sound all upbeat and stuff. I'm definitely having trouble refraining from using the "bad" words: they're just so common in my self-talk.

Week One:
This week's exercise is to think back to a time in my life where I formed negative thoughts about myself (Ha! Just one?!?).


Why do you think you are undeserving of praise?
I don't really think I do anything praise-worthy...

Was there a specific event that caused you to change the way you perceive yourself?
I can't really pinpoint a specific time or incident that made me decide to talk to myself like an asshole - it's honestly been such a part of who I am for so long, I don't remember a time without negative self-talk (unless I go extreme and think back to when I was six-years old). 

Is it because you’ve always been reminded of your imperfections or weaknesses?
Not necessarily: it's not like I grew up with harping parents who grounded me if I didn't get an A+. I'm really not sure where my perfectionism came from or why I beat myself up when I (inevitably) "fail."

Is it because you’re not receiving enough positive feedback from people whose opinions really matter to you?
Ahhh. Very likely, yes. I'd come home from school with a 93% on a test and instead of hearing "Good job!" I'd hear "Well, where's the other 7%?" My own mother didn't refer to me as "pretty" until I was 29.

Do you have unrealistic expectations of yourself?
Yup. I expect far more of myself than I would EVER expect of anyone else. I have to do everything perfectly the first time through without any help. If I don't do that - even when it's a brand new task I've never done before - my self-talk is deplorable.

Were you taught these habits from living in an unhealthy environment?
Mmm... I'm not sure. Possibly/probably? (I don't want to be all "It's all my parents' FAULLLLLT!")

How can I find a way to forgive those who have hurt me?
I think I've pretty much done this, or at least gotten a good handle on it last year through writing letters and such.

How can I forgive myself?
Oy. This is going to be significantly harder because I don't know how to cut myself slack. However, I know it's necessary in order to stop hating myself. Beating myself up all the time hasn't worked so far: time to try something new.