We packed, picked up, and moved lock, stock, and barrel 1,000+ km (620+ miles) away to another province, away from all our family and the vast majority of our friends. It was...
I unpacked and got used to my new surroundings and new "job" as an unemployed bum. Shit was hard: I was away from everything familiar for the first time in 33 years; I wasn't working; my VA gig was non-existent (and let's not discuss that, m'kay?); and my brain reacted as it is programed to do, with self-doubt and self-loathing. But, I *did* get the best library card EVER!
March found me renewing my love affair with nail polish (THANKS, Jenn!) and struggling with just what my voice was. I thought I found myself a job, then thought I'd gotten too cocky, then confirmed that I had, in fact, landed said job. I also unplugged for the second year in a row.
Just a few days in, I confessed to not loving the new job, then turned around and explained it away. However, it was foreshadowing if ever there was... one. some. foreshadowing. I experienced one of the darkest, scariest days of my life; I'll be forever grateful for each and every one of you who stepped up with words of support and encouragement, offering up phone numbers for any-time texts or phone calls - THANK YOU. I turned 34.
I did a 30-day course that ate up the month, so, uh, I can't really tell you a lot about May (my memory is FIIIIINE: shut up!) other than to say that Chebbar turned 34, I struggled with Mother's Day, we celebrated our 5th anniversary, and I started a(nother) new job.
I harassed some poor, unassuming girl via text message, retired from my volunteer gig, got the preciousssss, and watched as Chebbar's job - the one we moved one THOUSAND kilometers away for - started to unravel.
I realized I had gone 5 weeks without wearing the same outfit to work twice (iiiii KNOW!). I had a "fat" light bulb moment. I stood up to my mother for the first time in my life (boy, THAT went over well: after talking to her on Father's Day, I didn't actually speak to her on the phone until December). And somebody got a shiny new toy, just a little bigger than my iPhone...
Ah, August. You fucker, you. I simultaneously did a 30-day song challenge and a 30-day self-acceptance challenge (and probably lost just a few readers in the process... hehehe). In the midst of this blogging frenzy, Chebbar finally found a job after just over a month unemployed. Unfortunately, he suffered a traumatic injury on the job on his third day (I'll spare you pictures - they're on Facebook if you're morbidly curious). It was terrifying knowing that there was no family around to help us.
I got up on my soap box, as I am wont to do, and tried to convince the bullies that they can't bully someone into changing (I don't know what the hell I was thinking either). Chebbar started modified work duties in the office of the placement agency - all of a sudden, he had a new-found appreciation for what *I* do all day! I admitted how much I was struggling with being the only one doing ALLLLL THE THINGS! Looking back, it appears I started turning the corner to next year's theme...
I was emo
as usual. I had an AMAZING self-love
coaching session with Mara Glatzel,
thanks to Rosie Molinary. I gave an update
I scheduled time to make myself a priority and took Anna Guest-Jelley's Curvy Yoga Virtual Retreat. On top of realizing that yoga really IS for everyone, I learned something important about loving myself first. Some serious shit happened that scared the fuck out of me and shook me up badly; I took a break, then returned almost a week later to 'fess up (well, to most of it: the rest wasn’t my story to share). We tried to work with that sHituation by buying a house (shut up: the way it was presented, it would’ve made sense); no dice. We found out that Chebbar’s grandmother had lung cancer, so made the decision to return to BC for Christmas, even though we couldn’t afford it. We donated blood for the first time.
We found a solution to the sHituation: Chebbar’s dad volunteered to move into the apartment. However, that created another problem: what did we do with Pupster? He’d been staying with Pops because we couldn’t have pets in the apartment: with Pops moving in to the apartment, Pupster was pretty much left homeless, and our place in Alberta doesn’t allow pets. We tried to cajole the landlord into making an exception; she kept us on the ropes until pretty much the end of December. The freaking AMAZING Jenn (and her husband, daughter, two dogs, and at least one cat?) stepped up and volunteered to take the dog for us until we found a pet-friendly rental. Long story short, Pupster is with (other) friends of ours in Edmonchuck (thanks again for the offer, Jenn!), and we have until March 1st to find somewhere else to live (we even went to the back to see about a pre-approval on a townhouse half an hour out of town because that would’ve solved the pet problem, but no dice there, either).
There was a terrible tragedy in Newtown, CT that touched many people.
We travelled back to BC for Christmas which was… weird. Different. Nana does NOT have lung cancer: she has a pre-cancerous spot that hasn’t changed in over a year, which is why the doctor doesn’t want to do chemo or anything at this point – there’s no NEED to (needless to say, Pops isn’t impressed with the “ploy”).
I learned the truth about some so-called (former) “friends,” stood behind my words, and completed the turn around the corner I mentioned in September. This isn’t the first time I’ve figured people out the hard way, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. Boy, do I know how to pick ‘em! (Let’s just say quitting was the BEST decision I made all year.)
Chebbar was hired on at the staffing firm at an entry-level position; he’ll be applying for a better position this week (at everyone in the office’s urging).
I got scary-ass news that could potentially end in a world of trouble for my brother, all because he tried to help a “friend.” If you’re the praying/good thoughts/juju-sending type, he could really use ‘em right now.
Thanks so much for accompanying me on this crazy journey and holding my hand along the way. I’m not sure if I say it enough, but I love and appreciate the hell out of each and every one of you. <3 p="p"> 3>